its hard holding u holding her

Today is seriously NOT my day. Barely slept for three hours and I receive a call from – MY MUM. At exactly 9.45 in the morn, she called my handphone and asked me to wake up.

And that make me tear in the toilet.

Right now, I am fighting with this thing called MIGRAINE. Something that I DO NOT wishes to have during the fasting month. And nothing, NOTHING is helping me to make my pain less painful.

~

Actually that is not what I wanna blog about. Been wanting to blog since ages ago but, I dont seem to have the right time to type it. So here it goes.

A few days ago, I was listening to this song after so long. And it bring me back to the time where… sorry I cant say it here =)

Then right after that song, another song played which makes me think about the present.

That was when I realize how confuse a kid I am. How a mess my life is. Ok, maybe not as messy as it sound but… I just got to clear things. Sweep the old stuff. And make the present the only thing that should be in my mind.

as confuse as i am, i am still a a a a... eh, i just know what im doing. JUST THAT IM A LIL CONFUSE KKKK!?

im actually feelin better now. not that sleepy. not that cranky.
i think it is because of the painkiller i took straight after my break fast.

now...

MUG

chiao chiao

thinkin think

without a phone i walk out of the house.
no no.. not to run away u goon, to break fast.

yes, i do feel handicap without it. i feel that a part of me is not With me.

but without it, it makes me feel the freedom. no? u dont understand? its ok. u dont have to.

so the ride to my destination was undisturbing. no phone calls, no msgs. just me, myself and my mp3. that was when i started to think.

about stuff that is recently seems to be very important to me. or people i shall say. somehow life is look as if its a new thing to me. it may not be the most beautiful thing ever but it is a meaningful one. life is.. a meaningful thing god send to a being.

oh, i need tmr to happen just like how its been planned. by me. no no no.. not suprises just tht the day is gonna be a smooth one.
lets all pray.


chiao

have u ever wonder

its a perfect day for me. almost..

i dun think i can ask for more. really.

~

and yea, actually there is nothin else to blog bout.

thankin you will be weird.
so i wont do it.


every moment i cherish.
ever bits i remember.

boo.


chiao

shop for baby

my legs are officially aching real bad.
but with my angel shruts ard, everythin seems to disappear.
and i got to thank her for everythiin she did for me todae.

from taka to wisma, from heeren to ps.
hahahahaa.
all the trouble for one thing.
=)

i soo totally cant wait for tmr.
yippe.
gonna start muggin.


give it up for RIZZYYY...

~

someone is soooo totally screwing up my goober moood...arghhh F*ck
i neeed to feel the goober in me.

unspoken words

when ur unspoken words start to haunt you in your mind..
it keeps running and running across ur mind..
how do you stop it?

yesterday, wasnt really my day. my legs were aching kinda bad due to some stuff that happened the day before (hehehe..) and i was being dragged from causeway point to GEYLANG then to WOODLANDS again before im able to have my body back to my own room.

i was only able to close my eyes at 3 which then i got to wake up at bout 4.30 for pre dawn meal.
how interesting.

~

exams next week. like you know NEXT WEEK.
then u know wats next, HARI RAYA.
something tht i lost interest three years ago.
its jsut something that i have no mood to celebrate it la.
for the past three years, hari raya came at the wrong timing.
i think thts the reason why.

ok. need to mug alrdy.

chiao chiao

hoogazian

just like how cupcake blog, i cant seem to find the right words to say or type in this entry about my hoogaz.

it can b two short years but the memories we have will be with me for a lifetime.

~

exams are ard the corner. before skols officially over.
how i wish we can continue living in denial. but no we cant.
and i have yet to say wat i wanna say.

and i got to say it before its too late.
before time flies.

chiao

someone ask me to blog.but im not sure if i can blog. cos yea.

mm..well i got only one thing to blog now actually.

MY ANGEL SHRUTS IS BACK FROM INDIA!!!

omg la.

and tht means My Maniac Fren - Fahm is back too.

double yeayness.
hehehehe


till then.

chiao

u make me beautiful

what is the word tht can describe today?

seriously, i cant find words to describe it..

amazing huh.

how u wish life is as beautiful as today...

~

somehow the song tht im listenin now...
it makes me think of how much I have grown through out the year im with my hoogaz. im not good in words so.. let the Song speak for itself.

amazing how life is

Its amazing how things are different now. I feel alil change in me. I just felt that somehow someone or something have enlightened me.

But of cost there are still things that cant be change over a short period of time. Especially when it comes to the issue that involves our feelings.

Just a week ago, the feelings of insecurities made me have nightmares every time I close my eyes to sleep. I felt naked to know that some of my darkest deepest secrets were known. I felt the fear of having to remember the past.

And then I came across to realize how selfish I am.

I’m holding on to something and have never thought of letting it go just cos I felt that it was one of the most beautiful things ever. I was wrong. I was being a selfish beech. I didn’t think about the situation I have put people into.

…and then recently I took something that I can’t afford to give as much.

i dunnoe if i can get out of this phase of life in one piece but im sure i will get out of it soon. cos the people ard me have faith in me? i choose to believe that.
=)

I got to make it all right. And I got to start doing it now.


Im just unwell.
Till then, pray me fine.





chiao