when she's all yours...

there was no breakfast for me today.
but i was full the moment i stepped outside your house.
we both know we are not the champion swimmers.
but we took the bet and jump off to the ocean.

did we dive in?
but wait, did the water even touch our skin?

and i keep telling you i have lost.
but don't you baby think I'm the real winner?
well it is just that you're not here for dinner.

and we were screaming
when we indulge ourselves while drowning
i almost thought that I'm dying

in your arms.


it is like i can't seems to breathe
when you were underneath

then you found the treasure
while i have my pleasure.

you were on top of my mountain.
while I'm on top of yours.

we reached the highest peak in the universe.


in the same ocean.
with the same reason.





:)

chiao.

Happy Birthday

well. i have turned 19 today.
nothing to be biggie bout it. i'm just a year old which means..... i got to be less childish already. and that suckssss...

hahahaa.

well here are some of the gifts that i just got to upload and show it to the rest of the world cos it is so special! seriously.

the first one is of cost..
CAKE

handmade by Lina and Bear.

CARD

made by sandy aka squirrely zebra and cool nerdie penguin aka shangz

CDs

by all of them.

SHIRT

by bear

TARTS

CHOCS...

ARM REST

and CHOCS againby sister

and i'm soo loving all of them. really.
and ya the bouquet of ferror roches, if any of you guys wants to order it for a cheap price tell me. sis is making it for v day.

yea.






chiao

that piece of art...

You always see in the movie how the actor being swooped off from the ground by the beauty of the actress while she sashay from the stairs or just walk towards him elegantly etc, etc…

And I absolutely witness that scene real life just now.

Oh.My.God

And at that very second I just couldn’t do anything but to smile to myself, foolishly. Ok, no further comment.

Well, back to reality. I went to met Bear and we went around Singapore before she starts her tuition at 3.

Now my spirit is pretty high up maybe cos I have not met her for a period of time that is long enough for me to miss her.. Oh whatever.

And I’m totally missing my queens.

I swear I do.

Chiao.

"Lovesick," the doc said

Well yes. I have been sick on and off. Especially my giddiness and right now my throat badly hurts I can’t even seem to be able to swallow even the smallest molecule ever. And what did doctor said. “Oh you don’t have to worry. You are just LOVESICK.”

...

ok, the REAL reason why I came online specifically because I want to get things straight with this girl who used to be our friend. Another Nisha issue? Nope. This is worse.

A hypocrite.

I still remember VIVIDLY how emo you were when school was to end. Your blog entries was full of “I won’t forgets” and “you guys make my day!”

And to see what is really happening now, who is being disgusting here?

And what right do you have to show prejudice towards MY bear? (Note- not THE)

And who gives a bloody shit about not being able to read your blog which is “open to invited readers only”


Seriously **r**, get a life.
Grow. Up.





Chiao.

the "fight"

it was bullshit.

and no. none of the queens trying to prove any shit. GET THIS STRAIGHT.
humans make mistake. we were childish back then.

so just get over it, queens.

let's not be bothered over this kind of issue. she have a own life and we have ours. maybe when one one day our path cross again, maybe... MAYBE things will change. but for now, it will be like this.

right, Nisha?

anyway, from the bottom of my heart, i apologized. my mistake. to discriminate you with no reason.

and here's the classic for my queens.
how can i not laugh at it.



chiao LADIES

ok, i just have to blog

and yes i'm bored again. i'm actually waiting for my nephew's tuition to end so i can have my late dinner. well actually, i'm not hungry you know but i have to cos' someone will be mad with me.

anyways, i so need to blog about this thing that is goin thru my head. but the prob is, i have no idea which one to start with. hmmm, i'm actually in a mood to do poem but then again my poem talent is getting all so rusty. hahaha, was just practicing it with my Baby Bear just now. hahahaa..

i miss you.

oh damn. i continue after this. my lil devil just done with tuition.

no chiaos. cos i'm so gonna be right back

i'm bored, BABY

so my saturday nite is to stay at home with a bunch of dvds to be watch. which one? I'm not quite sure which one just yet. I'm happy enough right now bloggin my ass off.

good news came from cupcake - SHE's not leavin this island. heheheee.

bad news came from me - I'm dead bored.

~

cut the crap.

~

actually it has been awhile since i last wrote a poem. damn.

~

what i actually need right now is to actually know what i got to do.




chiao chiao

and i'm finally back

first entry in the year 2007.

god, its been a VERY long time. actually i have a lot of things to blog about, but as you know i am kinda in a sick mood so maybe the next time?

actually i am kinda bored now. no one is online. am only chatting with my sister. oh well what to do. life is suckie.

and rite now, i better watch my unfinished taiwan drama.

chiao.

and im leaving

well one last entry before i get my ass in the car to be driven away from this island.
first time ever my heart felt sooo heavy to step out of my house. mayb someone or somethin is holdin me back. anyway, sis bought a new phone and she is askin me to upload stuff in her new phone. tht is the ONLY reason why i am able to use my lappie now. hehehee..

stuff have alrdy been packed. MEDs and JACKETS too.
oh ya, got my pay just now. went down to office with K.H.
and i sense tht mr. karim is not really tht happy with me.
sorry boss.

anyway, before its too late i better wish everyone out there MERRY XMAS!

mum is still not back home yet. so i need to be mum sis and daughter all at one time now.

gifts are on the way...


suckiness.


imissyou.

its the blue on monday

omg omg omg... yest was the most blue-est monday i ever had in my entire... err.. life i guess. if only im still a sec skol kid, i wld hv said LIFE SUCKS. work esp.

and it was raining heavily. and like i told sandy, you can literally see the rain falling from the sky. hahahahaa..

april said i shld try to be less annoying as she sense tht i was the one who started the lil fight. heheheheee. which is true actually.
so yea i will try to be less annoyin and irritating to the rest except for cuppie herself. hahahaha.

i think im laughin to much. anyways, right now im waiting for the rain to cool down before i start walkin to the bustop. i dont really wish the rain to stop but at the same time i do need the SUN to brighten up my day.

ireallymissyou.


chiao.

second day. second customer.

second day working at universal group asset pte ltd co. a very hi-end company actually. and for gawd sake, its at the 43rd floor. the view, the whole singapore except tht u will b block alil. anyways, april just started working today. interview for less than 10mins and she got the job. straight away. she stole my jacket and so i got to frostbites here and there.

nothing much else happen. just tht i hope the so called challenging task being given to me will make me less bored callin all those idiot who dont even show any sympathy and want to spend their 45mins to come down for the preview of our lifestyle club. they even got a gift to walk away! where's the kiase and kiasu singaporean!?

and i need to do something now. something INTERESTING.
any idea?

when

That most beautiful was depicted on your lips
Had not been seen by me this smile of yours before

all the colored that were promises...
has loved that was given faded away

dont let me be all alone
dont let your heart being conquered
dont let me standing here
waiting with no one

just dont let go of Your hands embrace
and let everything passed by
like as if our feelings have been forgotten
when we had our first kissed

Overcast sky when saying
We ought to be still loving


a lovely song.
just cant get it out of my head.



when you hurt the one you love the most

it seems like ages since i last update my blog. is it laziness or is it just simply not to tell people what my boring life is all about?

i dunnoe. mayb its both.

but well, now im extremely bored. like to the core. and sooo i blog. but tht is not the only reason why i wanna blog todae. i just feel like .... blogging. u know tht kind of feelings?

oh well..

after skol, life seems to be like totally a new thing. u dun get to see ur frens as often. u dun get the chance to talk at the back of the classroom and talk all shit all day. u dun get tht moments anymore where u slack at the studyroom when were suppose to do our prjts. u dun hv tht time when u go down to the canteen just to get a glimpse of the cute guys ard and get ur fav french fries from the western shop.

look back at those times, i dunnoe. i feel my life now is a boring shit.
if only i can relive those days AGAIN.

ok, im not tryin to be emo or wat. just tht, u know when u think bout all this sweet stuff.
im just bein random.
i guess..

cupcake is leavin to aust this feb.
for .... 4 years i guess?
thts.... long.
too long....
but i pray for her best.
my cuppiecake. =))

then i have my queenies. all the shits we went thru. all the unbelievable things we did. omg.. i miss bvss suddenly. how can i go thru tht four dreadful years without them? how la dei HOW? things totally change. but not the love i have for them. theyre my queens for god sake. how i wish life is like a book. like seriously. then we can just live those moments again and again and again...

how we see things, how we deal with it, how we go thru each day without tht someone next to u. when u suppose to meet ur love one but it just didnt go as it plan.

and everything else just backfires on u.





How can I say
Say I'll be okay

my mum

from day one, i know you not as a revenge soul. but im afraid that when you do, the only person i can think you getting all so revengeful will be - your mum.

that thought frightened me.
my mum, shes the first woman i love. shes the one who i called out when i was in pain. shes the one i always wanna make her feel proud. and the most happiest mother ever..

but i know i cant. no matter how much effort being put in.. i just cant. and im not sure if im gonna give up.

~

i dun wish for anything from her except one. since young.
i wonder why its so hard for her to give it to me.
if she can give me the money, ipod, clothes, foods, drink, shelter and everythin else.. why not this?
is it so hard... to just be a lil understanding towards me?

is it some kind of a punishment for me?
have i been making the most sinful thing in this world tht she just cant give me some understandin side of her?

as long as im concern, i have not been makin her literally crawl to the police station to save myself from being accused of doing something.

yes, she can say im the most laziest among my siblings. im the most stubborn one. im the most rebellious kid. im the most selfish beech ever.
so is it fair..

oh ya, since when the world is fair.

even my sis who is the closest one to me in the family, dont really seem to understand. me. youre a girl. youre not like bro who is a guy, who can do whatever he wants to do. so, dont compare yourself with him.

ouch.

my mum always tells me, make ppl happy first before making yourself happy. and then onwards i have always been holding on to that. ever since then i have always thot whatever shes doin is to make me happy..
but am i?

=)

will all this make me hold something against her?
and be all so revengeful?

i dun want to.
i can.

but no.




i dun wanna make more sins than im alrdy making.




i love you mum


chiao

when u only almost here

when heart just breaks...
when even the sweetest words cant heal..
when things are not meant to be...

how far it seems

its been weeks since i blog.
will blog again when im better off..

just that i wanna state here

i think im losing it..
somehow im losing in the pretendin game.
somehow im getting more sensitive towards da love one s.

and right now... all i need is

to be invisible.





Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak...

Darimu...
Kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku...
Kau lah cinta sejati


chiao

just a day u hate ...

have u ever had a day that you dont wish to talk about?

for me, i dont wish to talk about TODAY to anyone.
so...pls dont ask me hows my day todae, where did i go todae, wat did i do todae, who am i with todae, etc etc..

even if todae is not gonna be a total bad day for me, it is just breakin my heart to go thru it, itself.

err... wat is so bad about today?

=)

u dont have to know.

when its not meant to be




chiao

meteors raining down on you..

...you know you are just like asking for meteors to rain down on you...

The exact sentence I said that makes someones heart cracked.

REALITY CHECKED.

Sometimes what is on your head or mind should never be heard. Sometimes you just got to shut yourself up and stop thinking about the future.

But at times, you just cant afford NOT to think about what lies ahead of you. Especially when it consent looking ahead WITH someone. People tend to wish to live in dreams and fantasy. They want to probably live in denial?

That is what most of us are doing. This is what I have been doing. But… it scares you till you wet your pants thinking about what is tomorrow. It freaks you out every time you have thoughts about it.

But right now when I think about i... I dont think it is any sort of fairytale dream. It is a dream that I wanna live.

So this is the future that I want to have. That I wanna live. Whether or not meteors gonna rain down on me, I have chosen the path to lead me to my future.

Then you will know that meteors can rain down on you…

~We built our dream house on a hill by the sea~

marion raven can never bore me with her voice...


chiao

for the ccake

~Do you ever wonder~
~What sky I'm lying under~
~Do you ever think of me~
~Does your heart remember~

first paper todae.
was excited somehow as i truly miss my hoogaz. its been a week since we all met. sandy was happy to get the patrick i gave to her. yayness.

paper was as suckie as ever. but as suckie as it is, i wrote two booklets. sometimes i amaze myself by how good i can crap.

hugs were given till i almost make shangz fell down. heh
cos it will be in another few more days before im able to meet all of them again.
that truly SUCK.

oh yea, sandy and i were talkin on our way back home.
i was tryin my best to live in denial.
but somehow i should have known better, truth hurts.

ever since i read tht particular blog... i just cant help but to think of it..

and then... i wrote a poem.
for a friend.

cupcake

As I sat here through my tears
I look back on these two years

I dont seem to remember when you first said hi
But I do remember the day Ive made you cry
It was when I refuse to sing Mice love Rice
Then you smiled and it was worth none a price

You left me alone today without a hug
And whenever I think about it, it breaks my heart
But not as worse as the day that you gonna depart
I know for sure that it will haunt me like Im on drugs

If I have seen this coming
If I have known it for long
I wont lean on you
Then it wont be hard to break thru

Will you ever think of me?
When there is no one you can bully?
Will you ever miss me?
When me you couldnt see?

As time pass, you will be on your own
Especially when youre in the other zone
Promise me you will not get lost
Cos I wont be there to help you cross

True they say...

The hardest thing about friendship is parting
Like when someone you love moves away
It seemed as if our friendship was just starting
Until that one fateful day

chiao

here without you