its hard holding u holding her

Today is seriously NOT my day. Barely slept for three hours and I receive a call from – MY MUM. At exactly 9.45 in the morn, she called my handphone and asked me to wake up.

And that make me tear in the toilet.

Right now, I am fighting with this thing called MIGRAINE. Something that I DO NOT wishes to have during the fasting month. And nothing, NOTHING is helping me to make my pain less painful.

~

Actually that is not what I wanna blog about. Been wanting to blog since ages ago but, I dont seem to have the right time to type it. So here it goes.

A few days ago, I was listening to this song after so long. And it bring me back to the time where… sorry I cant say it here =)

Then right after that song, another song played which makes me think about the present.

That was when I realize how confuse a kid I am. How a mess my life is. Ok, maybe not as messy as it sound but… I just got to clear things. Sweep the old stuff. And make the present the only thing that should be in my mind.

as confuse as i am, i am still a a a a... eh, i just know what im doing. JUST THAT IM A LIL CONFUSE KKKK!?

im actually feelin better now. not that sleepy. not that cranky.
i think it is because of the painkiller i took straight after my break fast.

now...

MUG

chiao chiao

thinkin think

without a phone i walk out of the house.
no no.. not to run away u goon, to break fast.

yes, i do feel handicap without it. i feel that a part of me is not With me.

but without it, it makes me feel the freedom. no? u dont understand? its ok. u dont have to.

so the ride to my destination was undisturbing. no phone calls, no msgs. just me, myself and my mp3. that was when i started to think.

about stuff that is recently seems to be very important to me. or people i shall say. somehow life is look as if its a new thing to me. it may not be the most beautiful thing ever but it is a meaningful one. life is.. a meaningful thing god send to a being.

oh, i need tmr to happen just like how its been planned. by me. no no no.. not suprises just tht the day is gonna be a smooth one.
lets all pray.


chiao

have u ever wonder

its a perfect day for me. almost..

i dun think i can ask for more. really.

~

and yea, actually there is nothin else to blog bout.

thankin you will be weird.
so i wont do it.


every moment i cherish.
ever bits i remember.

boo.


chiao

shop for baby

my legs are officially aching real bad.
but with my angel shruts ard, everythin seems to disappear.
and i got to thank her for everythiin she did for me todae.

from taka to wisma, from heeren to ps.
hahahahaa.
all the trouble for one thing.
=)

i soo totally cant wait for tmr.
yippe.
gonna start muggin.


give it up for RIZZYYY...

~

someone is soooo totally screwing up my goober moood...arghhh F*ck
i neeed to feel the goober in me.

unspoken words

when ur unspoken words start to haunt you in your mind..
it keeps running and running across ur mind..
how do you stop it?

yesterday, wasnt really my day. my legs were aching kinda bad due to some stuff that happened the day before (hehehe..) and i was being dragged from causeway point to GEYLANG then to WOODLANDS again before im able to have my body back to my own room.

i was only able to close my eyes at 3 which then i got to wake up at bout 4.30 for pre dawn meal.
how interesting.

~

exams next week. like you know NEXT WEEK.
then u know wats next, HARI RAYA.
something tht i lost interest three years ago.
its jsut something that i have no mood to celebrate it la.
for the past three years, hari raya came at the wrong timing.
i think thts the reason why.

ok. need to mug alrdy.

chiao chiao

hoogazian

just like how cupcake blog, i cant seem to find the right words to say or type in this entry about my hoogaz.

it can b two short years but the memories we have will be with me for a lifetime.

~

exams are ard the corner. before skols officially over.
how i wish we can continue living in denial. but no we cant.
and i have yet to say wat i wanna say.

and i got to say it before its too late.
before time flies.

chiao

someone ask me to blog.but im not sure if i can blog. cos yea.

mm..well i got only one thing to blog now actually.

MY ANGEL SHRUTS IS BACK FROM INDIA!!!

omg la.

and tht means My Maniac Fren - Fahm is back too.

double yeayness.
hehehehe


till then.

chiao

u make me beautiful

what is the word tht can describe today?

seriously, i cant find words to describe it..

amazing huh.

how u wish life is as beautiful as today...

~

somehow the song tht im listenin now...
it makes me think of how much I have grown through out the year im with my hoogaz. im not good in words so.. let the Song speak for itself.

amazing how life is

Its amazing how things are different now. I feel alil change in me. I just felt that somehow someone or something have enlightened me.

But of cost there are still things that cant be change over a short period of time. Especially when it comes to the issue that involves our feelings.

Just a week ago, the feelings of insecurities made me have nightmares every time I close my eyes to sleep. I felt naked to know that some of my darkest deepest secrets were known. I felt the fear of having to remember the past.

And then I came across to realize how selfish I am.

I’m holding on to something and have never thought of letting it go just cos I felt that it was one of the most beautiful things ever. I was wrong. I was being a selfish beech. I didn’t think about the situation I have put people into.

…and then recently I took something that I can’t afford to give as much.

i dunnoe if i can get out of this phase of life in one piece but im sure i will get out of it soon. cos the people ard me have faith in me? i choose to believe that.
=)

I got to make it all right. And I got to start doing it now.


Im just unwell.
Till then, pray me fine.





chiao

before i leave

well, here i am chasing after time before everything gonna change.

i just wanna say... i love u guys.



i really do.



im soo gonna miss u all.



take care...

alrite

it was such a finneee day for me.
the ppl tht surrounds me make me smile the wholeeee day. the weather was the best. it was pouring. its time to get wet. its been a verrryyy long time u know.

i wanna thank cupcake aka porg tofu but best known as APRIL, for the handmade bag and one of her books. thanks girl. not only cos of all these but also for being the fren.

how can i EVER find another cupcake when i have you..?
how can i EVER find another tofu when u are the only one who bully me?

=)

and of cost to my hoogaz, thanks for catchin my fall.

~

was caught in the pouring rain. such a lovely moment.
but it was washed away the moment my foot step a plc call home sweet home.
till now, she have not stop a sec to catch her breathe.
leave me alone in my comfort zone before i go, is that really hard for u?
it kills u to see me in a bright mood huh?
are u happy to see me torn inside out?

no, i dont hate u.
i just want u to ...
its ok..

i still love u.
and i will always do.
=)

i dunneo

seriously. im soo drained out. i dunnoe wat to do or wat to think. and its killing me inside.

no, i can go thru this without any tearss..really i can.
just.. dont say anything. dont ask me anything.
really.


chiao

breakin the news.. breakin ur heart

how hard is it to tell something tht u know for sure it will somehow break some ppls heart? how difficult is it to let the words fall from the mouth...

if it was given a choice, i think i would rather poison myself than to tell anything at all to anyone.

life is always playin a cruel joke on ppl.
Tell me
Have you ever been in a
Situation where the
Best thing you could do
Was the hardest thing
You've ever done
But you try to do
What's right
And I know deep down inside
That I really wanna be
There by your side
But I can't stand to see you cry
Not when it's because of me


i got something from someone.
not just any other soft toy.
not just any whale u find in the rack.
its something that have alrdy been part of someones life.

oh baby..

for you queens and hoogaz

Will you still be by my side even if I have my back on you?
Will you save me from drowning even if you cant swim the ocean?
Will you catch my fall even when Im at the peak of a mountain?
Will you still dry my tears even when I let you down, again?

What is in me that deserve an angel like you?
What is in me that makes you miss me?
What is in me that you declare me as the milk?
What is in me that every time I make you smile,
The whole world is smiling with you?

Why do you have to become part of me?
Why do you hold me when the world is against me?
Why must you let me be reliant on you?
Why do you make me love you more whenever we hug?

There will be time that I let you down
Make you feel pain and let you fall
But if I can just tell you how I really feel
Then I will ask the stars to listen to me
Cos I want the world to know
let the whole universe know

How important you are to me.
How life is impossible without you.
How lucky I am that god send me you.
How wonderful it is when you’re next to me.

~ i dedicate this to my Queens and my hoogaz.

i hope for a better day

the food sucks.
the games are lame.

but wat really matter was the fun i have with my hoogaz. they were just the amazing people u will ever met in ur life.

im lost in words actually.
especially wat happen last nite on the phone.
seriously.

words cant describe how beautiful u guys are.
and im no good with it so yea.

but wat i really wanna say is tht...
i love u guys.

=)

bloomy blooom

so here i am facing badz and shangz in the study room. and no, no PROJECTS. we are having some talking bout life during sec skol life.

it was kinda great to hear how my cool nerd was getting into some shits and stuff like tht. badz was never a discipline prob kid.

oh im feelin kinda emo now cos all the songs playing in itunes. lalalalaa..

gonna blog again after i get my full attention.

leaving without goodbye

have u imagine urself rushing out of the class without any absolute reason?

i just did.
and only God knows why

not a very good dayy

it started off pretty fine. my morn was a fine one.
but the sky starts to turn grey when i lost my kiddy.

oh shit, lets not talk bout it, its makin me feel worse.
so we stayed back for prjts. badz too.

actually there is nothing much to blog about. im bloggin for the sake of blogging.
nd i feel tht today, shldnt even come.
too many mistakes make,
too many heart breaks.

ok i know im just exaggerating bout tht facts.

but the thing is, oh fuck.

i just went offline without even feeling a lil guiltness not saying goodbye at all. im THAT tense. THAT TENSE.


Give me back my point of view Cause I just cant think for you

=) im pretty emo now

Instructions:
-Take a look at your friends,then list up to 10 things you want to say to 10 different friends.
-DO NOT state who these people are.
-DO NOT confirm or deny any comment speculation.
-Then tag five 5 people

there will be some tht im gonne write in grps. so yea. sorry for tht.

#1 you are my angel yesterday and will still be my angel. i believe in that. and we shld talk on the phone till the dawn breaks again? but when will that be?!

2# 8 years gone but ure the same beech i remember and love. and i know that u hv not change ur disgusting habits and last nite just prove it all. =)

#3 when was the last time i got the chance to hug you? for gawd sake the last time i saw u was on my bdae!! thts ages ago sweety. and i know u wont be able to read this but i wanna say i love u beauty. and also.. my sis who i cant more describe. so anyone who wanna bully me, u got to cross her first. shes a CID for gawd sake. in another ... 3 more years? hahah

4# just love to annoys me whenever i try to pay attention in class. i hv once thot of sitting next to someone else, but tht will make her a loner. haha ok la.. its just tht im so used to her by my side.

#5 i miss my cheessssy cakey. what more can i say? and i will write a poem for u k?

6# the wannabe ugly stepsisters. u make me realise tht not all mly girls are minahs with no brains. hahah.. for sure i hv brains kk

#7 u probably the oldest in the hoogaz but tht will not stop the kid in u to be seen. and yea, i still remember tht i owe u a badminton match. and also to the beech who steal my willy, i hate you.

8# couple of the year. one is my buddy and the other is my squirrel. thanks for being part of me.

#9 we will meet up soon. i promise ok beech?

10# wat more can i say? i miss ur boobies la. er i mean i miss u. and bout ur phone sex experiences, dont worry im still working out on how to get ur parents know bout it. and ya i almost forget, thanks for being my fren.

so taggie taggie to sis khai, weird fahm, shruty shruts, lina jealous me and missy nurul. enjoy.

i need to blog. but mayb not todae.

EMO man..

one one hoogaz

okay... so it was a pretty bad day for me. but i was more than happy to accompany my cool nerd in skol todae. to think that she will b a loner, will just make me laugh. wahahaha.. well, she didnt even believe it when i said tht. beech.

ohwell, after tht my life was just so disasterous. how cool can tht be.
but i dun think i wanna yada yada yada bout it. cos it will make me feel worse.

so after watching the video clip made by lina to the hoogaz, i was being inspired to have a poem. its a lil weird but i hope its readable
hahaha

I cherished them more than the power rangers
Cos I thought that God fax me a bunch of angels

The story Im gonna tell its not just bout me
But bout the people whos a part of my life, you see
So enjoy the ride when I turn the key
As they are my Hoogaz and will always be

First the dancing queen and the sexy mama
Latter name Ah Boon and the other name Nisa
We all know they are always in the world of lala
To dream big and marry a guy the kids can call papa

Next we have the very fine honeys
They are called the stepsistas whos pretty ugly
Whatever it is I shall say that Im very lucky
To have both of them as my babies

Then we have the nerdy whore
Strawberry shortcake she loves to the core
Not to forget the Bollywood star
Being with Willy in the exclusive bar

The most talk about is Mo and Sai Couple
It may not be their favorite but both eat apple
give them shit and they wont give u maple
but love rock and soccer be their people

lets all not forget bout the sexy hottie chick
be slutty and disgusting ur butt will be kick
shes the only one wear black and red socks
who cares when they all chant RIZ RAWKS

hahahahahahaha..
ok i know its lame. FUCKING LAME.
omg la...
i just cant stop laughing.

chiao