how far it seems

its been weeks since i blog.
will blog again when im better off..

just that i wanna state here

i think im losing it..
somehow im losing in the pretendin game.
somehow im getting more sensitive towards da love one s.

and right now... all i need is

to be invisible.





Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak...

Darimu...
Kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku...
Kau lah cinta sejati


chiao

just a day u hate ...

have u ever had a day that you dont wish to talk about?

for me, i dont wish to talk about TODAY to anyone.
so...pls dont ask me hows my day todae, where did i go todae, wat did i do todae, who am i with todae, etc etc..

even if todae is not gonna be a total bad day for me, it is just breakin my heart to go thru it, itself.

err... wat is so bad about today?

=)

u dont have to know.

when its not meant to be




chiao

meteors raining down on you..

...you know you are just like asking for meteors to rain down on you...

The exact sentence I said that makes someones heart cracked.

REALITY CHECKED.

Sometimes what is on your head or mind should never be heard. Sometimes you just got to shut yourself up and stop thinking about the future.

But at times, you just cant afford NOT to think about what lies ahead of you. Especially when it consent looking ahead WITH someone. People tend to wish to live in dreams and fantasy. They want to probably live in denial?

That is what most of us are doing. This is what I have been doing. But… it scares you till you wet your pants thinking about what is tomorrow. It freaks you out every time you have thoughts about it.

But right now when I think about i... I dont think it is any sort of fairytale dream. It is a dream that I wanna live.

So this is the future that I want to have. That I wanna live. Whether or not meteors gonna rain down on me, I have chosen the path to lead me to my future.

Then you will know that meteors can rain down on you…

~We built our dream house on a hill by the sea~

marion raven can never bore me with her voice...


chiao

for the ccake

~Do you ever wonder~
~What sky I'm lying under~
~Do you ever think of me~
~Does your heart remember~

first paper todae.
was excited somehow as i truly miss my hoogaz. its been a week since we all met. sandy was happy to get the patrick i gave to her. yayness.

paper was as suckie as ever. but as suckie as it is, i wrote two booklets. sometimes i amaze myself by how good i can crap.

hugs were given till i almost make shangz fell down. heh
cos it will be in another few more days before im able to meet all of them again.
that truly SUCK.

oh yea, sandy and i were talkin on our way back home.
i was tryin my best to live in denial.
but somehow i should have known better, truth hurts.

ever since i read tht particular blog... i just cant help but to think of it..

and then... i wrote a poem.
for a friend.

cupcake

As I sat here through my tears
I look back on these two years

I dont seem to remember when you first said hi
But I do remember the day Ive made you cry
It was when I refuse to sing Mice love Rice
Then you smiled and it was worth none a price

You left me alone today without a hug
And whenever I think about it, it breaks my heart
But not as worse as the day that you gonna depart
I know for sure that it will haunt me like Im on drugs

If I have seen this coming
If I have known it for long
I wont lean on you
Then it wont be hard to break thru

Will you ever think of me?
When there is no one you can bully?
Will you ever miss me?
When me you couldnt see?

As time pass, you will be on your own
Especially when youre in the other zone
Promise me you will not get lost
Cos I wont be there to help you cross

True they say...

The hardest thing about friendship is parting
Like when someone you love moves away
It seemed as if our friendship was just starting
Until that one fateful day

chiao

here without you