lets talk bout me

it is something tht disgust both me n my sis. but we laugh it out. actually it was kinda expected. its actually bout my bro. we know hes dirty lil secret. haha..

ohwell, me n sis hv a quality time just an hour ago. we share the same mind bout this particular thing. it is just tht.... things arent in our side just yet. till the day tht we can explode, we shld just play peace.

i suddenly hv no idea wat to blog now. fuck. THANKS MUM!
oh ya, my back is attackin my nerves. not tht my mum isnt doin her job. its just tht one is visible and one is not. one is stabbing me from the back n one is in front.

i need to spent more time in my four wall-ed cosy bedroom. the peace. its un-describable. laaliileeeeluuuu..oh btw my room is back to the ultimate messy state. THANKS EVERYONE!

my nephew is NOW addicted to desperate housewives. kids nowadays. and LOVELY mum is gettin on my NERVES. badly. note BADLY. life can never get any better.
oh ya her bdae is comin up soon. another disaster.

actually my life is not tht sucky anymore. its more to, im livin with this kinda shit all my life. so yea, im jsut livin with it.

prjts are like killin everyone. no time to slack. haha.. like real only.







i miss my queens.




chiao

a chocolatey date

had lunch with lina, durani, nurul and cupcake. had a wonderful bondin time together. hehe..

so while i wait for my ahem fren to come me, lina n cupcake book the study room to do OUR prjt. at the end of the day cupcake only manage to type only four sentence for her js while me n lina manage to complete half of the qns for the interview. haha... nurul, pls dont kill us if u read this.

we are just havin 100 percent pure ENTERTAINMENT in the study room. its full of spore idol crap. yes. and not only tht we were JUNKIES. choccs choocccs and MORE CHOOCCCCS. i feel so sick now!!!

and the worse part is tht after all the junkies my ahem fren treat me to SWENSENS. =(
i didnt finish my fish and chip. i didnt even finish up my desert. i end up VOMITTING it all out!! fuck....

n now, here i am, forcing myself not to enter the forbidden plc in my home. TEH KITCHEN. hahaha... my LOVELY mum roasted chick! how can i stop myself, man!

so i gotta stop myself from my enterin tht forbidden plc.
i just can smell it from far.
far.....

i miss badz.

shangz n shanthi left without goodbye. im hurt.

anybodycanhealmybrokenheart?
=(


whatever me.




chiao.

i hv no idea why

i really have no idea why i wanna blog again.

i really dont.

something is just not right.

something in me is just not right. gawd knows wat is it.


i cant watch brokeback mountain now. i cant finish my one sentence of pr. i cant somehow laugh at jokes in msn. i cant.... fucking find my charger phone.


something is not fuckin right. damn

in skol

oh well..... im bloggin here with badz lappie. michael buble moondance is playing. lalalala..... we goin to the study room at one to do our prjt. yea...

im feelin not so good. i dunnoe why. may be the rrason tht badz is sitting next to me. wahahahaa...or just tht, everythin tht is happenin is a fake. i wonder, what am i really suppose to do? why shld be happening next?

gawd knows.

somewhere in the corner of the canteen. again, badz is staring at me. weird gal. im freaking out now. anyway i got to watch the da vinci code soon. but prjts gotta be done.

pls...






gawd







save the world.







chiao.

or is it just..

i dunnoe.






if it is really a new start?





or just








an act?




to be honest, i dun wanna know.
i dun want to crumble to pieces. and i dun want u to be bleedin inside.

i like it this way.
i really do.


=)




and i dunnoe if i shld b jumping for joy or pity the love.
its complicated.

but wat i know. im smiling for two reasons.


(its ok if u dun really get wat im blogging. just know tht im happy.)




chiao.

in a simple way

When was the last time you actually realized you make mistakes?

A week ago? Three days ago? Last nite? Or just now?

I make mistakes.

You don’t think you make mistakes, babe?

I put someone who is supposingly close to me in a difficult situation. A mistake that I regret doing. But am I really to be blame? Have you ever thought of the reason why im putting u in tht kind of situation? Did you try to save our frenship tht seems to be sinking? Did u really bother to ask me the real reason? All you did was to be sarcastic. All u did was to indulge urself to… self pity?

Well, I blame NO ONE if u hates me. Not even myself. Cos’ I know the decision that I make is for the benefits of both party. Believe it or not.

Now I dun care if u are not worth my tears or my pity. Cos atleast, ATLEAST u appreciate my kindness eventhou I know u did it in a sarcastic way.

Atleast you know that im a kind person.

=)

Well, as I say, let time heals everything. If u still really want the frenship that is.
I will now just leave you alone.

Cos now what I really have is my pride. That really matters the most. I cant let my pride spill all over again.

And I have wonderful frens who are there when I need them.
They hold my hand and lead me to the right path.

And I love them.
I really do.

It is just sad… that have to come to this mess.



Chiao.

its a LOVELY day

dear *****, i got something tht i will like to said. not in pen cos it will smear, not in pencil cos it will disappear. i dun wanna trust my printers ink to convey what i really feel. so im bloggin here eventhou i know u wont be aware.

im not gonna hate u nor am i gonna treat u bad. its just tht our frenship or watever u wanna call it make a wrong turn. i wont wanna blame u. i take all the blames cos in the beginnin i know its my fault. i acknowledge tht. but to think tht u say/do something like tht, its like u tryin to kill me while im slping. too bad im still alive. i may not be recoverin but im alive. i saw u stabbbin me but i mum bout it. in the name of frenship. i owe u alot. as fren. as a human. n i wanna thank u for everythin u hv done for me.
this is not the end yet. no its not. but the way i look at it, our frenship, is never gonna be the same again. ever again.


its sad when someone u know pretty well actually u dun even know them. i teared in silent while im in a big grp.

im not gd, but i can play the pretending game.

im glad somehow tht im not comin to skol tmr. i dunnoe why. not cos i dun wanna meet my love ones but its just tht.... there are alot of stuff tht i got to do.




chiao.

jurongpoint day

I have NO idea that my lil trip to jurong point todae is full of fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!!! Yes. After skol hottie me, sexy shanty, gorgeous badz and lovely lina took the train to tht plc. Hahaha.. well actually, I was pretty upset with myself as I was damn broke. Just lost my twenty bucks in the earl morn. =( (left with only three pathetic bucks with me) Hahahahaaa…

Seriously we have tons tons fun.and tht kiddy bunny hairband. hahaha.. it looks soooo cute. man, im lovin those ladies. really. Lalalalaa….

Lovely ladies I have.

N6280 works wonder for me. Im gonna called it rockie. Or do u hv better name for it? Tell me. My LINE is open for EVERYONE. Wahahahaha…

Im a happy gal todae eventhou im broke. Thanks to the three beeches.

Well, things happen for a reason and for a reason. (This is for the general. No one in particular.) life is full of ups and down. u fall in, and u fall out. its never easy. no one say its easy. never. and dun u think tht makes our life much more er.. colourful?

ive been thru alot of rubbish. yea. shits and stuff. but at the end of the day, there is always a light. i realise tht. whether its ur frens who make u laugh, ur computer games, ur puffers or watever it is. its just the matter of time n patience. u got to have both of it to carry on.


im high and im watching the last episode of DIA.
lalalalalalalalaa...

chiao

im still in skol

here i am in the canteen skol blogging. when i am supposing to do my mmr prjt with my buddy. well, im using her lappie now to blog. haha...

actaully i miss bloggin. as my comp is giving me prob and blogger.com is givin all the crap tht i cant even save my entries. sad isnt it? ohwell....i hve spent my WHOLE week, yes WHOLE week
in town after skol. well, spent with the days there with diff grp of ppl. awesome shit. and yes i need to play POOL again.

amazingly, i feel totally diff at the end of the day. after the joy of being with a lot of my frens suddenly when skols done, holiday is next day, i seem to be somehow reflecting myself. i have a talk with my fren a few hours ago. and it seems tht she told me things tht i hv not been expecting. and wat is making me worry is tht she is not gonna do anythin bout it.

in the other hand, news come at wrong timing. to be honest, i dunnoe how to react to it. well, as they all say, its all about pretending.

am i good at tht? im not sure. u be the judge.
er.... ok.
hahahahahahahahahaa...


chiao.

thank you fucker

its not one of those days i look forward to. where u can hear me laugh my ass of. bully them all. firstly i wasnt really feelin well. cough fever. i wasnt in the right mood too. emo moody. it all blends well actually. puffin my ass of todae make everythin worse.

but for sure i got to thanks badz for standin there when i suddenly have no one to turn to. i shld have expected it.

i was listenin to this one new mly song. a very touching one.
oh who cares.


mayb i need to be alone. you know like be A LONER.
then ppl wont misunderstood me.


and

the only person im angry with right now is...
myself.



fuck.



now i realise tht the sea didnt wash away my probs. the wind didnt blow away my worries. the sun didnt heal my pain.





chiao.