it seems like ages since i last update my blog. is it laziness or is it just simply not to tell people what my boring life is all about?

i dunnoe. mayb its both.

but well, now im extremely bored. like to the core. and sooo i blog. but tht is not the only reason why i wanna blog todae. i just feel like .... blogging. u know tht kind of feelings?

oh well..

after skol, life seems to be like totally a new thing. u dun get to see ur frens as often. u dun get the chance to talk at the back of the classroom and talk all shit all day. u dun get tht moments anymore where u slack at the studyroom when were suppose to do our prjts. u dun hv tht time when u go down to the canteen just to get a glimpse of the cute guys ard and get ur fav french fries from the western shop.

look back at those times, i dunnoe. i feel my life now is a boring shit.
if only i can relive those days AGAIN.

ok, im not tryin to be emo or wat. just tht, u know when u think bout all this sweet stuff.
im just bein random.
i guess..

cupcake is leavin to aust this feb.
for .... 4 years i guess?
thts.... long.
too long....
but i pray for her best.
my cuppiecake. =))

then i have my queenies. all the shits we went thru. all the unbelievable things we did. omg.. i miss bvss suddenly. how can i go thru tht four dreadful years without them? how la dei HOW? things totally change. but not the love i have for them. theyre my queens for god sake. how i wish life is like a book. like seriously. then we can just live those moments again and again and again...

how we see things, how we deal with it, how we go thru each day without tht someone next to u. when u suppose to meet ur love one but it just didnt go as it plan.

and everything else just backfires on u.





How can I say
Say I'll be okay

my mum

from day one, i know you not as a revenge soul. but im afraid that when you do, the only person i can think you getting all so revengeful will be - your mum.

that thought frightened me.
my mum, shes the first woman i love. shes the one who i called out when i was in pain. shes the one i always wanna make her feel proud. and the most happiest mother ever..

but i know i cant. no matter how much effort being put in.. i just cant. and im not sure if im gonna give up.

~

i dun wish for anything from her except one. since young.
i wonder why its so hard for her to give it to me.
if she can give me the money, ipod, clothes, foods, drink, shelter and everythin else.. why not this?
is it so hard... to just be a lil understanding towards me?

is it some kind of a punishment for me?
have i been making the most sinful thing in this world tht she just cant give me some understandin side of her?

as long as im concern, i have not been makin her literally crawl to the police station to save myself from being accused of doing something.

yes, she can say im the most laziest among my siblings. im the most stubborn one. im the most rebellious kid. im the most selfish beech ever.
so is it fair..

oh ya, since when the world is fair.

even my sis who is the closest one to me in the family, dont really seem to understand. me. youre a girl. youre not like bro who is a guy, who can do whatever he wants to do. so, dont compare yourself with him.

ouch.

my mum always tells me, make ppl happy first before making yourself happy. and then onwards i have always been holding on to that. ever since then i have always thot whatever shes doin is to make me happy..
but am i?

=)

will all this make me hold something against her?
and be all so revengeful?

i dun want to.
i can.

but no.




i dun wanna make more sins than im alrdy making.




i love you mum


chiao

when u only almost here

when heart just breaks...
when even the sweetest words cant heal..
when things are not meant to be...