my mum

from day one, i know you not as a revenge soul. but im afraid that when you do, the only person i can think you getting all so revengeful will be - your mum.

that thought frightened me.
my mum, shes the first woman i love. shes the one who i called out when i was in pain. shes the one i always wanna make her feel proud. and the most happiest mother ever..

but i know i cant. no matter how much effort being put in.. i just cant. and im not sure if im gonna give up.

~

i dun wish for anything from her except one. since young.
i wonder why its so hard for her to give it to me.
if she can give me the money, ipod, clothes, foods, drink, shelter and everythin else.. why not this?
is it so hard... to just be a lil understanding towards me?

is it some kind of a punishment for me?
have i been making the most sinful thing in this world tht she just cant give me some understandin side of her?

as long as im concern, i have not been makin her literally crawl to the police station to save myself from being accused of doing something.

yes, she can say im the most laziest among my siblings. im the most stubborn one. im the most rebellious kid. im the most selfish beech ever.
so is it fair..

oh ya, since when the world is fair.

even my sis who is the closest one to me in the family, dont really seem to understand. me. youre a girl. youre not like bro who is a guy, who can do whatever he wants to do. so, dont compare yourself with him.

ouch.

my mum always tells me, make ppl happy first before making yourself happy. and then onwards i have always been holding on to that. ever since then i have always thot whatever shes doin is to make me happy..
but am i?

=)

will all this make me hold something against her?
and be all so revengeful?

i dun want to.
i can.

but no.




i dun wanna make more sins than im alrdy making.




i love you mum


chiao