here by me

'I hope you're doing fine out there without me
Cause I'm not doing so good without you...'

this song had accompany me through out my day todae.
i dunnoe why but i was jus caught up with da lyrics i guess..

ohwell im force to say this but im more than willin to say it... HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAZ!
she had a great day todae.
unexpectedly, her klassmates bought her this lovely cake. i guess todae is a perfect day for our ex bukit view idol. hehee..
n bitch, hope u get the chance to go the next spore idol audition (next year).

~

i wld like to thank my angel - shruthi as she was there went time wasnt realli gd for me. cos of her words, i hv faith in all the things tht im doin. n she make me believe tht its OK to b wrong at times. not all the times but at times la. n she knows wat im goi through behind every smile....
thanks gal.

ps- met jega at lot 1 jus now. he still the hot guy i noe n also tht devil in him.

'And everything I have in this world
All that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me.....'

chiao

its my braders bdae .... tmr

its my bros bdae in another another hour.
hes gonna b 22.
bein 22 he had done it all. had a few gals, went clubbin, had his first puff, been to diff part of the world. he is someone who i say my kind of dream guy?

im not as close to my bro as how im close to my sis. n somehow i can never ever forget da reason why we are not close. it haunt me every time i think bout it.
but as we grow old, we share a few dark secrets together. n we even like the same things at times.
u stand by me wen volcanoes erupted.
u were there for me went earthquake disrupted.

n now it seems tht everyone point their fingers on u n im doin nothin bout it.
yes, indeed ur action is wrong. u shld have stop it all.
but as i learn the reason why u did it, i somehow feel kinda glad tht u did it.
its pretty amazin how u "help" ur close ones n sacrifice ur all.
but deep down inside u regret it.
u realli shld hv stop it bro. realli.

cos now, its all so mayhem here.
all the high pitched naggin n the desperate sobbing of old lady is uncontrollable.
after all, ur the man.

straighten up big bro. watever the chastisement is, face it with brave hart.

i pray u come back soon bro.
im missing u alrdy...

a psy-chick test

someone leave me with no choice but to blog bout it eventhough she deny takin me for granted. its ok i wont wanna bully lil kid as i KNOW HOW IT FEELS BEIN BULLIED. rite CUPCAKE?!

here it goes-


60% moody.

you are very emotional and cannot control yourself. especially when you are strike with something that is really sad, you are more sensitive than ever, and would response more than others. once you encounter hardship, you would think of yourself as a main character of a tragic story, and allow yourself to fall in the saddest mood. also when you are mad, you would also become very sad. even a small fight can make you cry non-stop. you make others impossible to predict what you think.


chiao.

its umbrella day not.

it shld be a sing in the rain day. realli.
the only thing i like bout rains is gettin wet.
yea u will get all the sneezin n stuff, but hey wen its freakin humid here in spore u complain n wen its rainin u complain too.
try appreciating the rain, u will definitely fall in love with it. =)

skol was...oh well its PR. wat do u expect?
n badz n cupcake didnt come to skol todae.
the only thing tht keep it all goin is CHEESECAKE.
well...shes lovesick. realli LOVESICK.
n on the way to nyp, ma n shangz had a grt laugh in da bus.
cant wait to meet her tmr..

met my bel hammy. n MOHD! ok ive seen his pic, ive heard ALOT bout him but this is the first time i SAW him. n yup, im a'lil taller than him. wahahahaha... sorry dude. jus cant help it.
n also i met with their hammies. its bel the hammy hammies. if u understand wat i mean. khekhekhe..
i met naz too. khekhekhe..

ohwell ive been playin in the rain this whole day.
somethin tht is oh so me la!
n sandhya, im keepin my promise, u shld too.

mere yaar ki shaadi hai is noe of my fav hindi movie. not cos of the actors or the actress(bipasha basu is excluded) but cos of the storyline.
newae mere yaar ki shaadi means my best frens weddin.

chiao.

smile even when u are sad

I watch her go through troubles
I watch her sorrow grow,
I watch her shadow weigh her down
I watch her walk alone.

She tries to hide her sadness
Behind a broken smile,
She tries to hide behind her pride
For being weak is not her style.

Something is always bothering her
But you'd never seem to know,
Hiding her pain's a simple task for her
Her realness rarely shows.

Beyond her widened smile
Beyond her sheepish laugh,
Her soul lies frail and broken
From walking a broken path.

I always want to reach out to her
Give her comfort, a brighter day,
But her eyes always seemed so lost and abroad
Her stare so far away.

She seemed so strong to others
It's funny how only few could see,
Even those closest to her heart
How naíve they all could be.

i'm back

its a day went u wish u cld sit down at ur garden. read a very nice book with a cup of hot chocolate to accompany it.




*zap*
back to reality..

be real, i dun even have a garden.
n its like decades ago tht i read a book n had a cup of hot chocolate.

alritey cut the crap.
im back. this few days i hv been pretty sick. No. I AM SICK. not mentally sick but u noe sick sick.
caught up with a sprained ankle. a high fever. throat infection. migrane n da most serious illness is my old lady naggin.alrite its not an illness. its a....mum thing, u noe. nagging. watever u wanna call it, its jus givin me a bloody hard time recoverin.

wasnt in my best mood this few days a definite thanks to my sickness. this hv cause me not in the pink of health to even watch harry potter. thts unbelieveable.
but i hv the chance to catch the movie - just like heaven. an amzing story. realli. n reese witherspoon is a grt actress. yea.. n not to forget the soundtrack.

talkin bout just like heaven somethin came up to my mind. its amzing how u can see beauty in someones eyes. but unfortunately to ur dissapointment, no one will notice ur true self. the fake smile. the genuine cranky. the unpretentious loneliness. the
sham happiness..n the list goes on n on...its jus impossible for u to tell ppl. mayb the ppl ard u are jus to blind to see or jus plain dumb.
if only eyes can hv their own mouth...
=)

n ya, fri is my bros bdae, hv any idea wat to get for him?

chiao.

different

yesterdae is a total diff day for me in skol.
i plaaned to come to skol late cos seriously, i hv no interest in PR.
so took the bus n i saw three hot guys. yes. no kidding.
one of them is a nyp student n also a wannabe sutperstar. but yea i got to admit tht hes one hot dude.
the other is a guy who wears this black baju kurong. gawwd hes cute. too bad hes one inch shorter than me. it will b an insult if he date me n i wear heels. hehehee...
the last one is a punjabi guy i suppose. hes bod is jus so oh-amzing. heseyes are mesmerising. no joke bout it. but *sniff *sniff hes an ape. hes toooooo hairy. its a turn off.
wat a pity

there was a funfair in skol. badz n stuff rent a stall for their henna bis. me n cupcake help out here n there. it was fun as there r alot of ppl who wanna try henna out. it was tiriing for sure.
the sad thing was tht it was clear tht ive been bullied not only by my cupcake but also by leena. they have vandalise my hand. cupcake decided to try HER heena skill on my hand n it turn out to worse than wat my nine yrs old kuzin had done on me....=(
but im glad i enjoy myself until........
cupcake once again decided to destroy my NAILS!
shes a real hardcore bitch. seriously.

i talk bout todae in the later day...
wahahahaha..
goin to backyard!!!
chiao.

bollywood, emily rose

was in the car with my sqiurrel. both us were enjoyin the hindi songs played in the radio. from classic to songs like soldier..hehehehe..
i was in to hindi songs tht in skol i force my badz to sing me one.
n at the end of it. she did. she whisper it in my ears...
love u badz..

here are some pics to accompany those idiots who still doesnt noe any bollywood actors or actresses. show u my few favs ones-












the exorcism of emily rose.
i think tht this movie which based on the truth story, rawks. mayb its not a hard core horror movie but i think, its a grt movie.
chiao.

its jus one of those days...

its jus one of those days that...
..a ten mins nap u took seems hours
..u look up the sky n its jus a jump away
..u wish the ride back home will never end
..life seems to appreciate gawds gift
..deep inside u noe u will take advantage of everything
..wont wanna miss the sunset at the beach
..the feelins inside of u wanna b expressed
..pink isnt the colour u wanna see
..writing a poem seems so tough
..no coffee or red bull can boost ur energy
..smile is ur weakness
..hugs u depriving
..moodless is ur middle name
..the truth doesnt wanna speak out itself
..u wannabe surrounded by everyone
..ur hart taste the rain

..im feeling lose loving you

chiao.

how do u feel...

ok dumb me, i didnt post this entry n happy went offline. Fuck Me.

how do u feel being bullied?
its like ur hart was digged out n hammered against the wall before the two toads cakes in ur life start throwin darts at it. *sniff *sniff
ouch...
wats worse, they proudly broadcast the news that im the one who bully them n they r jus merely self defensing themselves.
not only tht, i was bein called an irritant.
it literally shred my hart jus like an unwanted paper.
its so depressin it seems tht u are on the edge of a hot air balloon.
but i gotta thank gawd. cos my squirrel who i decided to call her sandy save me from da world of miserable toads alive. she cheer up my day by tellin me bout the close n the open of the infamous coconuts shops in yishun. she make me smile jus by standin for me wen the cakes merge.
sandy, i will like to thank you n to show my appreciation for bein my squirrel pet, i will Sponsor the bestest nuts for ur bdae.

~

met with nazi at nyp. n the bestest shit is tht she skip her klass at two! wahahahahahaha.. hilter rawks! we decided to chill ard. n huney mun, remember the belt we saw at far east, me n nazi saw it at junction 8 for only 22 bucks. it is cheaper or the same?
we both slack at coffee beans or is it starbuck? well, who cares, its the same. hahaha..had a superb grt double fun went both of us decided to write a poem.
here it goes

the horizon seems dark and grey
when a flutter of hope glimmered my way
i followed the glitter to the light it lead me to
n i realised it was you

we took 1/2 hr to complete this short poem cos we were crappin alot. n i mean ALOT.
hehehee..

n ya at nyp, i saw jackass. i thot he was kinda .....gd lookin before i realise he was *** hahahahaa.. dumb me

n to the toads cakes of my life, i have learn to forgive n forget bout wat happen todae.
let bygones be bygones.

n badz, i miss ur sexy smile. khekhekheheheheee...

chiao.

cinta mati

bagaimana caranya untuk

agar kau mengerti bahwa
aku rindu
bagaimana caranya untuk
agar kau mengerti bahwa
aku cinta

masihkah mungkin hatimu berkenan
menerima hatiku untukmu

cintaku sedalam samudera
setinggi langit di angkasa kepadamu
cintaku sebesar dunia
seluas jagad raya ini kepadamu

bagaimana caranya
agar kau mengerti
bahwa aku mencintaimu selamanya

bagaimana caranya
agar kau mengerti
bahwa aku merindukanmu selamanya

a lovely song i fall deeply for.

first day of skol

before i start bloggin bout my day todae, i will like to announce here that i have 115 unread emails in my inbox. wahahahahaa...i break my old record of 86 unread mails last yr. hehehe...

todae woke up at 730. hais....that earl u noe. than i get up n went out. my beloved kuzin drop me at orchard station jus before he went to work. thanks bro. met with ernie. we went high n low searching for a cap. hahahaha...i tried EVERY single cap i can get my head on but only went we went to mambo then i decide to bought one. hehehe... by then it was alrdy one. we were late for skol. n ya, lunch at cine was grt. cant remember the name of the cafe but the food was nice. yea.

skol
class was superb boring seriously. not the module i believe but the lecturer. yawn...
the worse part is that our air cond was not workin after our break time. it was switch off automatically. damn. klass was so damn stuffy.
i hope tmr is gonna b better. but one thing im not lookin forward is carryin TWO heavy public relation books to skol. but ohwell, anythin for my SWIT LOVING BITCHY CHEESECAKE. hehehe.....

chiao.

lafaz yg terakhir

oh my gawwd. hari raya. yes its here. once again. hmm...nothin much to talk bout this hari raya. its jus da typical way of goin to ppls house, welcomin the guest (wanted n unwanted) to our house. well i was more at goin to ppl house then welcomin them. mayb next week or so la.

btw last nite, i hv let my kiddy kuzin aged nine to vandalise my beautiful hand. hais...its a disaster. but i shld say shes bein creative n hv the talent la. hahaha... shld practice more rite sis? hehee..but dun use my hands anymore..

tmr skol start. i dun realli noe how to describe my feelins. i dunnnow whether i like it or the opposite. mayb i dun even wanna go. but i miss everyone. my cakes, my bud, squirrel, bads n stuff...yea..

was listen to a radio station n came this beautiful song.
gawwd..its so beautiful.
dun worry its not hari raya song but yea its a malay song.
n to my surprise, its a local singer.

Selamat Hari Raya

hari raya is here. once again.
family gathering. alot of foods. ya alot of them. traditional clothes. colours of them. i mean u will see a few rainbows here n there. one of the few things i like bout hari raya. the traditional clothes. this year my family decided to have light blue as our main colour. well i was hopin that we will wear white but ohwell mayb next year.

hari raya this year brings a different light in my life.
unlike the previous years, i dun feel the excitiement of it. i dun feel that i can celebrate it with all the happiness in this world. there are a few reason but the first in my list is the missin part of me.
its not even a year since my granny left us.
now both parents are orphan.
n im left with no grandparents.
how much i miss them.
as time fly.
the moment she took her last breath, i regret the one thing.
how i wish i cld tell her i love her. how i wish i can tell all my granparents how i much i love them.
n in this very special day, celebrating without her, regretting the things in the past, wont allow me to smile.
but life has to go on.
the only thing that i cld do now is to pray for her, n give my best to fulfill her last wish.

i love u granny. i love all my grandparents.

n to all my muslims frens, selamat hari raya.
forgive me from top to toe.
maaf zahir dan batin.

chiao.

happy deepavali

its been a while i have not update my blog. i didnt even come online.
well theres alot of stuff to say to talk bout but..well things are better left unsaid. feelins are better left unexpressed.

hari raya is comin in a few days time.
n look at me, look at the condition im in. a total wreck.
hais....

will update soon asap.
newae happy deepavali


missing u.
=)

chiao.