alone

I get a funny feeling
it comes from deep inside
I get all mad and angry
wanting to go and hide

My doctor calls it depression
my dad says it's just me
But the thoughts and feelings
no one will ever be able to see

Some say I'm psycho
some say I'm just weird
It's like I'm a different person
and the old me just disappeared

I get really edgy
I want to commit suicide real bad
Then I get a headache
followed by feeling sad

I wish I could get help
I wish it would go away
Maybe if I keep praying real hard
it will some day.

talk to love

There’s a story about a girl and a boy
First they met
Then they fall in love
They were cuddling each other
But the next thing you know
She left him for another

If I could to talk to love
I’ll tell love not to break one’s heart
If only I could talk to love
I’ll tell love to last forever

There’s a story about a girl and a boy
They were friends
Not long they realized that they were in love
Too bad they when apart not long later
He say they’re not meant for each other

If I could talk to love
I’ll tell love not to break one’s heart
If only I could talk to love
I’ll tell love to last forever

Love is a feeling
One wants to treasure
Want to keep till the last breath
Once it’s gone
The world seem to end

im tired!

ok today klas was nothin..
we did absolute nothin xcept to get some exam tips for our media studs..
then me n cheesecake decided to go ps (if u r wonderin wat is ps-plaza singapura)
met jess n cutey simin there..
wen round n round then simin n jess decide to go wonderland..
hahaha im broke so i cant afford to go la..
then me n cheesecake wen to orchard..walk walk ard taka then somethin happen..but i'm not gonna tell la..its a secret that happen at taka...
poor kitty...
then we walk walk again..
was gettin tired n sleepy..
then we decide to hit back home..
i was on my way home wen i decide to hit the library 1st..
was readin this book..was damn nice but my eyes cant afford to open it anymore..so head back home la
wen i reach homey, took a bath b4 i hit the bed..
slp bout one hr..
now here i am chattin wif my cheesecake online..
she's swit n SWIt..
n i mean it la..
but she say sometin that hurt me for a while la..
beech!
n im still searchin for a plc that is very high n open..
n shit me..dint go to 12 today..
was rainin n tired..
damn!

happy belated birthday to florry!

ok todae...very fun! eventhough todae my cheesecake didnt come to skol, i was have a great today but it will b better if she came la!..well, it was realli fun esp wen i' on my way to meet florry...took bus 7 wif frans n gang (frans-hottie, justin-funny, ping-sexy, ming-smarty, ray-colly, june- cutey, sam n her bf n the rest who i dun noe the name, sorry)..at 1st i was sittin next to anna wen she change plc wif frans..hehehe..frans was turnin me on wen she was throwin flyin kiss to me..hehehe..wen she sits next to me then she was REALLI turnin me on la!!!hahaha justin who sits next to mark who was sittin infront of us was makin me laugh till my tummy hurts la...they all rawk my socks la..hahaha
then i wait for florry to come while marky n anna wen to but chocolate cake..
we inside swensen..at 1st we were kinda shy(florry treat us wat..)but we still order the best food of all la in swensen..hahaha..was missin my cheesecake la but dun think she me la..hais..so we talk and eat talk n eat again...then at one pt we were talkin bout ghost..whahaha..it was so funny n Freak u Anna..tx for scarin my feet ya..
after that we wen to eat the chocolate b'dae cake at mcd..can imagine how full we r?
bt newae we went to watch initial d(florry treat AGAIN)..
damn nice la..n funny too..
weeeeeee..
so the plan to meet bel n shruts been pospone...
newae bel was sick..so mayb next time babes...
b4 reachin homey...wen to 12..
the plc can never b better la..
then i realised somethin..
i see wat i wanna b in the future..
well.not gonna tell u guys la..
let the curiosity run wild!!
hehehee
newae was jus talkin my cheesecake..
miss her like shit but she miss me not..
sob sob..
its okay la..
n i promise her im gonna get her a flower tmr..
where am i gonna get flower earl morn??
ohwell
i hv frans now..so i dun need my cheesecake anymore..hahahaha
n i cant believe that she(cheesecake) is very CUTE in the phone..!!
it's like u talkin to a BABY + CHIPMUNK = CHHESECAKE!
omg freakin gawd la..
cant imagine her voice is as cute as that in the phone..hahahaha
but she was upset wif me la wen i say that..
well well...i think thats a Compliment for goaty sake!
hmm..kinda tired n full after eatin all the junks today..but dun think i'm gonna slp earl la..
hehehee..
n i miss that person..
we didnt talk the whole today..
or the day b4..
hais..
life..
b patience hun(myself..!)

i dunno how to describe todae...

it was unexpected..
mum felt down in the toilet she was worried sick bout her hero dat had not return home since last nite..
my closest uncles came to visit her..
then he return home...
i dunno wats happenin n this small world..but i noe that i'm not livin in peace..
thats life..
n furthermore my cheesecake..i dunno..but i think i was in no help wen she need some support..
shit..
well well..
i'm pretty tired now..
n i just realised that tmr will b the end of skol hol for the kiddies..
i still remember me in my sec skol days..
i will b bz doin my last min hol. assign..
if i still can't finish it, i'll b copyin my buddies(klassmate who will NEVER forget to do their assign.) earl in the morn..
hahaha..
to think bout it make me smile for the 1st time today..

nothin special at all

todae woke up n the radio was playin some oldy songs..
i dun noe who sing it or wats the song title but it was very kool..
i dun realli do much stuff..
was at the backyard for a while..
playin old michael learns to rock songs..
cool la..
at home nothin to do..
was still thinkin bout yesterdae stuff..
even if she say it jokingly, wat if she REALLY mean it?
ohwell.. hope u rot in hell soon..
i'm dead bored now..seriously..
at the backgrd now, the music is irritatin(mum yellin, dad shoutin while im dyin..)
cut my soul to pieces

oh my...

today was feelin cranky the whole day esp wen i saw somethin that realli hurt me la..i dunno if im bein very overly freakin sensitive bout it..but ohwell..n n i realised dat ppl dun realli like me in klas..u noe i juz feel it..shit la..n for Gawd sake i dun INFLUENCE ppl to b like me!! n i guess i'm goin crazy over Jolyn la..a swit gal u can never resist n just now i heard her voice for the 1st time!! its so swit...hehehe...
MISS YOU JOLYN>>>

loneliness..

learn somethin bout bein lonely..realised not only me la..
so here's my contribution..

in a corner of the world
sittin by herself by the window
lookin at the clouds
she smiled

she try to grab it
but she needs a miracle
suddenly feel naked
realised she's with no one

she's everyone object of desire
virgin, pretty, swit, rich, young
but deep down she pray
she wont have to wake up & cry

in the middle of the nite
she need someone
to give her Barney's hug
& have a peaceful night

walk walk..

yesterdae was dating out my swit strawberry cheesecake(Jolyn)..wen to taka then heeren then taka again..whahahaha...then at last wen to wdlds civic ctr cos she wanna borrow some books but end up not borrowin anythin at all...hais..walk walk again at causeway pt..kinda tired so we went back home..
was a tiring day...
wanna take a rest(sleep) wen i remembered that i have to submit my apm assign tmr!!(today)..so edit my my assign n look for more pics then realised my printer is not workin..damn it!! gotta ask florry n simin to help print it out..THANK GUYs...it was already kinda late..but then i hv to change my bloggyskin..
haiss...

i wanna turn back time..

ok before i get into serious biz, i wanna tell u somthin bout wat happen to me yesterdae n today.. yesterdae i gave a surprise to my best angel shruts..wen to her house..hahaha..nazi was ther too la..have a great time till i get a phone call..hais..
today was a chicky day la..had a presentation n my grp need to wear somthing formal n we decide to wear black n white..cool rite? i wore my brader tie n (my swit cheesecake jolyn) called me a hottie rocker la..love u switty..
ok..so now to my serious topic.. y i wanna turn back time?
hmm...i've been doin alot of thinkin lately after since i start my new skol(mdis).. after leavin bvss im no longer the loudest gal cos i kinda change..but dun worry im still me..it's just that i've always(all the time la) try my best not to break anyone's hart like i use to b..
wen i was in sec skol..i didnt even give any 2nd thought if i have hurt someone..
i hate alot of ppl back then..
but now i realise that wat's the point of hatin ppl?
they r Gawd's creation too rite?
ni noe how it feel wen someone hate u
i had this conversation wif one of my FREN recently
learn alot of things..
i mean like if only i cld clear things out b4 all this thing happen..
n recently, i have some probs that i cldnt handle n was in the edge of commitin suicide..
now i look at life differently..
my dressing sense change too..
becomin more of matured rocker...(hahahaha)
ok thats lame but ya..
i'm drifting from some of my frens too..
n gettin closer to ppl who im not realli close too..
weird rite?
well mayb this is wat will call teenage life huh..

the world today

life has not been fair towards me this few weeks esp on thurs nite..it was the worse nite of my life..ut i learnt to give no fuck bout everything else..esp them.
and i wanna thanks a few ppl out there in this corner of the world who has help me stand up again (eventhough i'm not as strong as b4)- shruts, bel, fahm, florry n jolyn..thnaks guys..
talkin bout life..everyone has their life whether its great or the opposite, it's our LIFE. and we cant run away from it. i shld keep in my mind dat im not the only one who's facing probs in life cos everyone have prob on their own.it's juz how i cope with it n carry on with my life.
after leavin bvss last year, i have learn alot of freaky stuff bout life. n esp appreciating the things in our life. we take advantage of wat we r given. we take of advantage of the ppl who love us. we take advantage of thingd we have. we take advantage of every single shit.
then i also realised the feelin of how one get hurt by another's action (esp the one that we love the most in our life). we try to find fault of the other person n we make them ngry we find fault with them. then we want that person to let go of us. im disappointed. wif the ppl ard me (it's not only my parents but...... u wont wanna know who). they change. well everyone will change in the stages of life but the changes have disappoint the ppl ard us who love.

thanks to my queenies

i dunno how to describe the stupidity that posessed me.
eventhough they don give a freakin hell bout me, i muz noe dat my queenies r there for me. thanks guys..n a special thanks to shruts esp for slappin me in the face..wakin me up from my freakiest nightmare..

thanks..

i cant sleep...

seriously thinkin of blowin my brains but i dunno how. ppl ard see in me diff angels..some thought my life is perfect. some thought that i'm a bitch. some thought that i'm sick. how bout myself? wat do i think bout myself? i'm a loner with my queens always supportin me. i'm a bitch who needs to b loved. i'm sick in the head cos i cant get more sicken elsewhere..

now i qns myself. y ppl love me n y they hate me?

i've been searchin for the ans but i still cant find it..

one thing for sure is that, i'm not happy wif my freakin life..

i dunno wat else to write eventhough i wanna let my feelins run..

i dunno wats happenin to me..

is this wat wannabe dead ppl gonna b like?

am i dyin?

or am i already dead?

another day...

today i have communication skills lesson earl morn'..haiya..she sucks big time..mark n joe came only after our break n florence came only at 12..

i did a stupid thing just now n i shldn't do it..i dunno how stupidity can overcome oneself..i dun get it..i had a few puff while talkin to joe bout some stuff..ms law caught me red handed smokin..i think i kinda upset her but well i was upset MYSELF..arghhhh..

then for media study, me n mark had to do the presentation...i cant remember the last time i present somethin in a klas. was havin a'lil fun til skol ends..

i suddenly realised that i miss someone..it's kinda weird la..but i dunno..it seem that the person make me comfortable wenever i'm wif dat person..the weird thing is that i dun wanna to feel it..i feel guilty likin that person..wat the hell...life's like that..hope Gawd's gonna help me..

angelina jolie

today, i hv advertisin n promotional mgmt. sucks like usual..joe n florence didn't come so only me, jolyn n mark. superbly very boring..saw the white pancake today..she thinks she's hot wen she's so not near bein Hot..wassup wif dat bitch?..today's June bdae..fran was goin ard askin klasmates to write at the so-called bdae card! so swit of frans! n guess wat? justin not only give june a bouquet, he also do some LAP dance! hahaha..the whole klas wen crazily mad...none of us can stop laughin..

then, jolyn n me decided to leave klas after break..we cant stand his lecture anymore! decide to watch mr n mrs Smith..n oh my freakin gawd..angelina is so so freakin freakin HOT! everythin abt her is hot..nwe notice somethin, the dirtier she gets, the sexier she bcome..she's way too gorgeous to b true..n of cost, i'm 2nd HOT after her..hehehee..n not only that, my swit honey pie Adam Brody..he is such a Cutey i cant resist makin him into a candy..yummy...he is so cute..she is gorgeous...but there's this one scene that Jolie will use the telephone to smack Adam's face...OuCh...its a good movie so dont forget to catch it ya?

after that i realised dat naz n jes r at town! so meet them for like 45mins before i decided to leave..

i was kinda late so kena nag la...well, i was xpectin it newae..then for 2 hrs all wen perfectly ok till she suddenly mood out! arghh.. wats wrong with her? can't she jus like let me n the rest of the world have peace? i dun understand..realli..

wat is the world comin to?

in this world, ppl make mistake. ppl get hurts.wat we dun realise is dat we love makin mistakes n get scaryly mad wen we get hurt. wat is this world comin to...?we r driftin away ourselves not only from each other but also from reality. we dun wanna accept the truth dat we have forgotten bout da ppl dat we use to laugh n cry with. i wanna apologised to all the ppl in this freakin world if i ever hurt their feelins..

in this world, ppl have totally no knowledge of sincerity. where's the sincerity in the things we give n take? we r to comfortable sittin at our osim chair dat we forget the real reason y ppl sacrifice their religion for love..

fuck the world
i hate no one
the only person i hate is...me

wat is life without them?


suddenly, i wish i was one year younger..think about the days i've been through with my queenies last realli have a big impact in my life..i dunno how to thank gawd for givin me such wonderful frens lky u..no matter wat happen to us, i will cherish ever single moment we have together...

she's not only clever she's swit..she bought me this small gifts but hey..i'm the switest of them all..

todae's life

todae life has been great.
in skol, this gal(jolyn law is her name) bought me a small gift. n well this is not the first time, it's the third time! cho cwit!!

but the mood of happiness change when our communication skills come in to the class. we plan to get out of the plc after the break but as civilised ppl, we stay n tortured ourselves in the klas..

then there's this one beech( we decide to call her white pancake). she suppose to pick someone from my row to write somthing at the board but she refuses. n gues wat she say? "this row is so unpopular.." wassup with that?! she think she's THAT popular. hey white pancake, listen up..if u try to get on my nerve, u r in deepy shit! cos u dunno who u playin with..! watch ur back ya! argh...i feel like askin a rapist to rape her(i dun like scenes showin gals bein rape) but i dun mind u! hey, i wont do that..i'm NOT a whore like u..i'll juz sit down at my "unpopular" row n slap u right in the ****in face of urs soon..this is a warning ya...
beware..

From Far

I saw him
Wearing a tee and jeans
Simple but outrageous
Hope he notice me

I saw him
He was jogging
All so sweaty
How I wish I could taste it

I saw him
Having his dinner
Have a big appetite
I was full for him
I think I’m in love

I saw him
He just had his shower
Naked in my eyes
He melt me surprisingly not

I saw him
Just before he hit the lights
I wish I could touch him
But he’s unreachable

shoulder to cry

Life is full of ups and down
But the distance feels further
When it’s headed for the ground
And there’s nothing more painful
Then to let your feelings take you down

When you need a shoulder to cry
When you need a friend to rely on
And the whole world is gone
You won’t be alone
Cause I’ll be there
I’ll be your shoulder to cry

It’s so hard to know
The way you feel inside
When there’s many thoughts
And feelings that you hide inside
But you might feel better
If you let me
Walk with you by your side

When you need a shoulder to cry
When you need a friend to rely on
And when the world is gone
You won’t be alone
Cause I’ll be there
I’ll be your shoulder to cry

At Last!

whahaha..surprise surprise i have my own ****alicious Blog!
My queenies have been bugging me to have my own Blog, so here I am now!
Now i can see the world go round..
Hope tomorrow's gonna be better than today
Well, I'm kinda excited first time writing in my OWN Blog..
heheehe..
Mayb I CONTINUE tomorrow