i wont blame you

i dunnoe how to start this entry.






really i dont.







being sandwiched.







on the verge of losing someone who is very impt.

















i need to stop.

stop the tears.











pleaassseee..

supposingly a good day

i dunnoe. it started of with a gd morn just tht somehow my tiredness was shown to my squirrel in the bus. yawnin all the way.. oh fuck

klass was pretty ok. with "guest" lecturers. a FEW gals pretty crazy over this married guy called warren something something.. all rush to have his namecard even when they were sleepin when hes presentin or not even paying attention. oh galss.... wat can u say.

after klass was when the socalled nightmares all starts. i dunnnoe. it seems tht i cause all the mess. the grp of us cant even decide where to go, what to eat, blah blah blah... n in the end my squirrel n me got to make the deicisions. A HEAVY RESPONSIBILITY we tryin to work it out.

wont wanna go in details here.

ok, must i declare here tht im broke. B-R-O-K-E.
i need money. M-O-N-E-Y.



whats worse?


im cranky now.


only squirrel sandy knows how cranky i am.


fuck..


chiao.

i need p!nk

someone got to get me p!nk latest album- im not dead. went to hmv n i was wow-ed by her album. im so lovin it. really. u got to listen urself. i was sooo tempted to buy it just now but due to the shortage of money, i cant afford it.

so... im really hoping a kind soul could give me twenty bucks so tht i can buy p!nks album.
im so desperately needing it.
someone PLEASE!!!

there alot of movies i got to catch.
i need money money money.

after listenin to p!nk, ive been inspired to cut n dye like hers.
hahaha... for gawd sake its p!nk.
PINK.



PINK.





i need my hot choc now.


chiao.

firsty day of skol

well wat am i suppose to say? WAT EXACTLY am i suppose to blog? actually nothing. first day of skol in my new advance diplm class is something tht u wont b expecting. its full of unknown and known faces. get wat i mean? jailani class todae. wasnt really paying attention as i was busy paying attention to my gay buddy- simin. the last time we sat next to each other...? i myself cant really remember.

ohwell, some changes here n there to the known ppl ard me. expected n unexpected ones.

well, tmr will mark the "one year frienship with the mdis" - sandy squirrel told me. tht reminds me of the first time i step to mdis. the first fren i make. and to think bout it, shes not even gonna b in my klass anymore...

from the first rose to the very last movie.
i miss my cheesecake.
my purple butterfly.

damn im getting emo now.

alrite. better get mysefl ready for the match todae.
man u i mean.
the devil in me.

chiao.

sentosa

in the earl morn i was woken at bout 6.30. the phone rang. a voice whisper- lets go to sentosa..
WHAT?!
so get to pack my luggage stuff n when to get my kuzins n suzi. two guys and three chicks. the sun is out.
it was actually have been planned by suzi(so called future sis-in-law) n my kuzin. beeches alive. what makes it one of the unforgettable picnic day out is tht it starts to rain at bout one. it did stop us frm playing in the sea but not when we hit the sand. but we got to go in the tent the guys make cos there is thunder n lighting. we dun wanna die soon. all so wet, we decide to play uno in the tent. i think our laughters are as loud as the thunder outside. less than an hour later we hit the sand. it is always useful to bring ball to the beach. BUT not the plastic kiddy one. enough game of soccer and volleyball, we are all ready for a swim.

it is such a beautiful day.
after all the mess i put myself in, life suddenly being kind to me yest.
=)

after that much fun, we got to fill our empty tummy.
so we hit jalan kayu for dinner.
the food nothin amazing. just tht they have this COIN PRATA tht is so famous everyone bought it. we are not excluded. yes its the smallest prata i have ever seen n its damn soft la.
n then we chat till midnight strike. it was pure fun.
pure gossiping.
n me being the youngest enjoy the most i suppose cos most of the stuff n done by them.
hahahaa..

n i was the quietest too.
tht makes them wonder what have the sea water done to me.

ohwell.

just recieve a call from my darl shurts.
shes in the airport.
gawd i miss my angel.

glad u back hun.
muacks.

ps- my body is aching.

chiao.

need a swim

hopefull shurts comin back todae. i mean fri. yes. the 14th of april. she got to. i miss her. the rest of the queens miss her too. buthey gal, did u buy the thing i ask you? haha..

ohwell, was sitting at home with nothing to do. the late evening was loookin outside and i realise how typical it is.
you know, mum just came back from work took their only child from skol. pri skol nipper walkin home wearing their PE shirts. aunts making noise in the kitchen with the wok n stuff. sec skols kids holding hands. blahblahblah.... something i realli miss. the typical things. u dun realli got to SEE all this but u know its all happenin ard u. get wat i mean?

n yes, i told my squirrel once how i wish i can just go for a swim or wat. tht dream is still not fulfilled yet. oh fuck. i hate tht.

i need tht kind of relaxation. u noe. looking at the sea.
i extremely in serious need of relaxation.
i need THAT THING to ease my shmabolic mind.
sigh...

n ooh yess. a new discover in my plc. my old lady is addicted to this korean drama. wat is called. jewel in the palace or something like tht. honestly im quite like it myself. but my OLD LADY INTO KOREAN DRAMAS?!?!?! its like she sudddenly like watchin cartoons in the theater. not just say koreans drama la, she have never like any other dramas not even local english dramas. far from chinese dramas... (she only like mly lang drama) but now KOREAN?!

shes .... getting weird. hahaha.... its shld b in a gd way. a change shld b wise thing for her.

i suddenly have the impulse to watch something tht will make me think.
i wanna watch the da vince code. something tht is realli not me. i hv not even read the book yet. hahaha....

chiao

da de dum

im just fucking bored. cant sleep after i send my lil evil to skol. so here i am surfing the net aimlessly.

oh yes, i think i better watch mr n mrs smith again.
bang bang..
im goin all so crazy.

i so love that movie.
and my fav quote in tht movie is
john smith - come to daddy.
jane smith(ANGELINA JOLIE bashes him) - whos ur daddy now?

u rawk gal.

till then

chiao

dead man walkin

the last time i blog was a week ago. wat was i doin for the past seven days? a qns tht i have no ans to. but i do remember tht i dont get to see the sun for three damn days. ok, tht is soooo like a song tht i used to listen to but i cant remember the song. wat the hell am i talkin bout?!

only me knows, believe me.
im totally in my own world now.
ask me how im feeling recently and i will tell you one whole fairy tale.
the feeling is hard to explain in just few words like scared, hurt, happy, delighted, blah blah blah..
its a feelin.. like you laying in the middle of town. just being raped n totally so naked. u crying for mercy. but it seems tht no one bothers n treat it like some kind of artistic street performing.
its a feelin.. like u cant die nor u can live. u are so caught in the middle of nothin. ppl ard are tryin to pretend they care but yet their acting sucks. u have absolutely no one to turn to except urself.

and just todae i realise how hard is it for me to accept reality.
name me good or bad, its not something tht its easy for me.
i was grown up by the fact tht nothin is fair in this world. n till todae i cld not tell myself tht, life is never fair. yes i can lie, ican shit all tht everytime. but can i run away from the truth tht i just cant fucking accept the reality tht LIFE is unfair?

times like these never once in my list. i know it was coming, but why mum bout it? cos i jus cant acknowledge the fact. still dont get it? its ok. im just here to express myself. who cares whether u cotton it on give no shit bout it.

ok, so i was bein tagged by famous fahm to do this thingy.

great.

im doin cos tht maniac ask me to. if not, dream on.



come up with 7 qualities of my ideal perfect lover.

#01 do specify the gender
#02 list down and tag another 7 people on their pages
#03 if you've been tagged before, you need not do this again

Gender: humans who have genuine male organ of copulation or also known as penis.

> tht creature shld do small lil things tht makes me want him. (cheeky me)
> tht soul MUST have tht grt sense of humor. (tht doesnt mean he can be as wacky as me)
> tht chap hv to hate everythin tht got to do with david beckham excluding his wife cos i know shes irresistible. (so tht i can argue with him whenever we watch football together)
> tht dude got to b there whenEVER i need him in bed. (lose it to my husband ONLY)
> tht guy got to b charmingly cute with brains (i don really like it if someone is acting dumb. blur is cute thou.)
> tht chap gotta b smart and averagely rich. (doesnt mean i want some so called "matured datuk")
> tht someone gotta love me (like DUH)

oh well, who cares bout the penis, if u got tht emotional thingy, u cant resist this thing.
no one can stop u from falling.
even when u know it is gonna hurt so damn badly..

so the next seven taggies goes to
>simin
>lina
>badz
>serene
>huiching
>siwei
>nurul

chiao.

its a day

today is the day that supposingly to be a day that alot of things happen.

like, today is the day that i realise whe i send my nephew to skol is tht birds are fighting with one another. the first one was right in front of my nephews skol. the next one was when i was walkin home. bloddy hell...
there is blood. everywhere.

today is also the day that i hv an EXAMINATION.
holy cowss.
ok its not realli an exams but a test i shld say. but it is one of the impt test. u know. that is why i called it EXAMINATION.

today is also Cupcakes legal 18th birthday. legal doesnt realli mean anything to u, huh?
we shld have a party to celebrate tht beech bdae at pulau ubin. she will absolutely love. lots of SWIMMING and CYCLING. its gonna b a day tht beech will absolutely enjoy. yeaa....

today is.. the day that i wont be able to talk or see my angel. since yest i shld say. she went off to the 5am flight to dubai. for how long? fucking two weeks. oh well, she needs the break. seriously. so i really hope u enjoy ur stay there gal. and dun u dare bring home an arab man. just the condoms will do. hehehee..

alritey.

im gonna get ready for my test. or i shld say in my own context> my EXAMINATION.
hahaha..
wish me luck.

chiao.