sick

todae wen for grocery shopping..not feelin quite well actually..dunno wassup..i think cos i have been puffin alot..cant keep my mind straight..n im seriously wanna apoplgise to cheesecake..shes been very good towards mee..now i dunno how to face her..arghh damnit..was puffin my last one wen it strike me. my right brain been paralysed. the migrane is back! arghhh..i feel like i need to b exploded! watever it is im now caught in my fever..caught in the middle..i jus dunno wat to do..im sick of all this..im sorry cheesecake

wats happenin..

31st july. queen of beauty was born. we were suppose to meet up n celebrate but end up..is it expected? or it's fated? i dunno wats happenin to QUEENINC...r we drifting apart? oh please no..is it my fault? i noe i have not been a gd fren to u guys but dat shldnt be da reason we all are drifting apart..after mun's bdae is gonna be QUEENINC bdae..5th august. talkin bout it, i dunno whether i shld b happy or sad or guilty or jus treat it as a normal typical day..

to cheesecake, i will like to apologise to u. i now doubt if i ever deserve ur frenship. i dunno if i ever have the courage to talk or see u again. i seem to lose da courage...hais..but watever it is i wanna thank you n i wanna apologise a thousand time.

friends

At times I realized that I’m not worthy of your friendship. It happen to me at times when I make my friend heartbroken. They will be there for me when the world seems to end. They will laugh at all of my lame jokes. They will be there to pour me sunshine. But what have I done to make them? Sadness. Heartbroken. One thing I’m good at being a friend is to break my friend’s heart. Everything now is killing me. I seriously don’t know how to live my life without them but I think I’m being selfish. That’s why when they being superbly extra sugary nice and sweet, I feel so guilty. I don’t know what to do cause honestly I don’t wanna them to stop bein all sugary nice n sweet but I feel guilty. It kills me. I didn’t do anything near best to make their life a wonderful life like how they make mine.

And now I don’t even think a sorry can justify it.

a tiring day for me..

todae skol kinda fun..naz came in to klass todae n sat next to my cutey simin la! wen they realised dat shes My fren, they called me a cheater la, damnit..ohwell everything wen ok..then we went to Taka to have our lunch..walk walk then we decide to go far east..Jolyn wen to meet her sis n left me alone..but i hv my simin, cupcake n naz so im kinda chill la..we wen to sit at burger king while waitin for simins bag bein repaired..then we walked to paragon to meet up with simin's fren- WENDY...hahahaa..sorry if i hv been an irritating pest..then me, naz n my cupcaek wen to the heeren to search for naz shoe....walk walk again before we conquer a shop where flowers became the 'topic'..hahaha..naz bought a flower to b plc at her hair n me..bought two pinned flower..it was kinda late n we all were gettin tired n stuff but cupcake hv to meet madness...i kinda upset with my cupcake cos she sill tryin to be swit wen she alrdy hv to wait for him for TWO freakin hour la..damnit..u think i jus gonna let u sit at city hall mrt station n wait for a GUY to come up wen at last he was doin his detention..argghhhh....ohwell i jus dun wanna see u bein bullied cos u bein swit to Everyone..

hope everythings gonna be alrite..its been a tiring day for me n i hope tmr's gonna b better..
n im missin everyone la
damnit

sick day

todae nothin special happen except dat i bring my nephew, KH to see da doc straight after i reached home! i bring him to see da doc. not da mum, not da nanny..its me! hahahaa..a sick idiot bring a sick kid to seea doc..cool ya? well newae nothin happen much but skol was FUN! our lecturer name Mr. Naidu looks like wolfverine..hahahaa..yup yup..da character from x-men. he was cool n a funny guy. cheesecake din come to skol todae. was havin a fever..poor kitty. ohwell dats it for today..nothin much except bout me sendin Kh to see doc n havin a wolfverine as my lecturer teachin bout eng stuff like collocations, syntax, morphology, supra-segmentals, tenses n etc etc... hope tmr lesson's gonna b as cool as todae..hehehee

hurt me, hurt u

u think its cool to hurt someone?
i never, Never wanna hurt anyone who actually plays a part in my life
it kills me to see u hurt
but..wen u r in a cross road, u gotta make a rite move
its not an easy decision for sure
we r frens
so try to understand
please..





all i can say is that
IM SORRY
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
SORRY...

nothin cool

todae had my lesson at s'pore conf. hall
1st day of skol without joe, florry n mark..
n da klas is kinda same not much change happen la
todae lesson was abt social psychology
kinda fun laa...
the lecturer was ok..
nothin happen much actually
but me, ernie n cupcake wen to ps
(without cheesecake Again..hais)
cheesecake hv to got for a check up.
damn
ohwell we wen ard the mall..
talkin bout stuff dat kinda surprised me
ohwell thats life
we gotta face it
my back hurts still
but after takin a quick nap,
im feelin a'lil better
n realised dat cheesecake hving a fever
argghhhh....
ask to take a rest so she can catch up her- america next top model

wat time is it??!!

rite freakin now..im talkin to my angel! yeppie..ok yes kinda tired n stuff but i wanna talk to her still..hehehee..still remember da day dat we talk on da phone for SEVEN hours..we talk till Six in morn..dats da longest phone talk ever la...ohwell goona hit the light..my lappie is runnin out of batt..hahahaa..cant blog much seriously cos im seriously bz talkin to my angel- Shruthi. (if u still wonderin who da hell i'm talkin bout)

so bloggin out now
muacks

a better day?

last friday, a four month old baby girl died in one of the hspital here. she was suffering from brain damage after she fell down da stairs. where is her mum? u mus b wondering? shes in the kithen. tell me, who's fault is it? the mum? the four month old baby? u tell me the answer cos if u ask me, i feel like killin the mum..
todae wen to visit haikal in da his..he was bitten by some animal that make his left leg red and his right leg blue black. seriously scary.
then at nite went to marina area. it was abt eight, nine..(the night is still young) wen to look at the atmosphere at nite..its amazin. i cant remember the last time i wen out dat late. it seemd like years i din go out wen the moon is out. ohwell we went to lau pat sat. din buy anything though, jus walk past it..then we wen ard the take a ride then we hit the tanjong pagar railstation. alot of ppl there..eatin. hahaha..n it was like ten! n they dont look like they havin supper, they look like they are havin lunch n dinnner at the same time. o man..they rawk my socks! hahahaa.. we spent there like half an hr b4 we hit da road n look ard the nite street of s'pore. hit the town. it was cool. chinablack was full with ppl. ppl hangin ard at nite. some at the bustop waitin for the bus(like duh!) while the rest look like as if they waitin for their frens n stuff. most r jus chillin..inside borders u see all da bookworms buryin their head in da book.hahahaa..dats da first time i wen to borders for like wat, four months?! darn..
ohwell i cant wait for skol to start soon. seriously. im dyin in here.
n btw i realised dat im growin fatter. well im alrdy fat i noe..but eversince i hv this week of NO SKOL days, i've been eatin like pigs. jus cant stop eatin..(im becomin more like my angel..hehehee)

n guess wat?
im hungry now..

a life that will be wasted

i wanna feel the cloud
cover me when im cold
i wanna hear the wind
sing me the lullababy song
i wanna touch the stars
and they will wish me goodnite
i wanna sleep with moon
so he can be my pillow

Nothin much to blog todae..
fahm called me in da morn, say mun wanna meet up..
but again n yet again..it din happen..
i seriously cant wait to start skol..
life in here is makin my life messier
queens u noe wat i mean..
she told me todae
dat i'm a good for nothin bitch..
*yawn*
i'm gettin tired of bein cursed, hated n discriminated..
i wish she cld hear the songs/poetry i wrote for her
but she will Never give a damn bout me..
i jus wanna da love dat she used to pour me
he..my hero..i think hes goin under some menopause season..
i dunno but wat i noe they r killin me..
emotionally..
dat day, bro cry while drivin..
he too feel da wat i feel eventhough we din talk it out..
damn..everythin feel so alien now..
life is never fair to me n to all of us..
Never.

new stuff

at last i change my blogskin and my darling tagboard! hahahahaa.. my queen of maniac will love me for this man..yeaa..so examz over.thank gawd..so next week my dipm course gonna start for real! hehehe..no more play play..(hope so)..but next week im gonna hv my klasses at shenton way..sound cool rite? n if u still in da daze, my klas hv split to two..one good news n one bad news..bad news is dat yanyan, marky n florry wont b in my klass..n da bad news is dat cupcake, cheesecake, simin is stayin with me..yippie...but im gonna miss my yanyan, marky n florry..shit laa..ohwell we can alwys hang ard after/before skol k..? im tryin to chill out at home..wif vcds dat i wanna watch again (mostly i hv not even watch la..hahahahaa) ohwell..n i gotta continue wif my ....(florry n cupcake will noe wat i mean yaa..) n yanyan, wen r u gonna help me wif my videoclip??hahahaa..hey our plan to strip cheesecake mus not b cancel ok....no matter wat we mus do it..! hahahahaa..
dats it for todae..

i wanna rest to da fullest..cos i've beenn stressin myself out..
n ya my twins sista wanna say somethin..
go on samara..tell them..


miss me and i will be under your Bed..

library mania

i actually spent 1/2 hr slpin in da library jus now..hahaha..cant believe it laa...then at home was like taking my own sweet time..wen online n cupcake told me dat our klass gonna b divided to two! argghhh..da saddest thing about it was that joe n mark wont be in da same klass wif us..argghh..damnit..need to change plan on how to sabo our cheesecake..

ohwell thats it for today..kinda tired.. need to study for my cs now..haiss..

miss me n i'll b under ur bed..

not been bloggin

cant remember da last time i blog.ohwell im a very busy woman u noe. newae wanna talk bout friday. wen i was on my way back, saw a a grp of galfrns..it flashback to my days..then i realised..
that i have not been a good fren..
i totally forget da ppl who r part of me..
im takin advantage of u guys..
then i called my queen of beauty..
i teared..
then da aunt next to me give me a tissue
thats how bad i miss u guys..
wen i reached home, i was drownin..
with tears..
i realised dat i hv not been a good fren..
wasnt there to wipe ur tears wen u cryin..
i feel soo guilty..
so i promise myself dat no matter wat..
i will b there for u my fren..
ohwell enough of my drama..
da next day n dat was yesterday..
my mum was like tellin grandmum story..
she was in tears while me..
i was tryin to control my laughter..
i dunno why but i was treatin it as a joke..
wat a daughter i am..
then wen to backgrd..
its been awhile..
had an instant noodle as lunch..
then i played wif my chopsticks..
almost broke it la..
hahahaa..
i remember few years back..
was playin da song "doin dat thing u do"
n i broke my chopstick..
hahahaha..
my tummy start to hurt like shit again..
ohwell today..nothin much happen la...tryin to study for my communication skills..
yea..
tryin hard..

madness

been studyin ms..
ok actually im TRYIN to study ms..
can't concentrate much as i'm busy playin wif my emotions..
seriously i dun like wat im feelin..
slept at bout three..
can't get myself to sleep..
was listenin to da music n tossin turnin in my bed..
wasn't under anyone's bed last nite..
need some Peace i guess..
right now in a daze..
n i wish i cld go to da top again..
wanna Destress myself..
o man..
thinkin bout the top..
it's amazing..
todae meetin bel n naz..
i miss bel..
my hammy..
gonna buy some stuff..
well it's a must..
muz put that as a reminder..
clock is running..
now, tryin to study ms Again..

first paper!

todae is officially the exam day..
wen to meet up wif cheesecake at city hall..
bought her red rose..
i jus wanna thank her for bein my cheesecake la..
hah..
exams...it was kinda okie..
was expecting a tough paper but it turn out to be chilling..
then while waitin for mark(he was stuck with the paper till 4 n the rest of us end bout 3 plus)
we were having fun!
i was enjoyin myself..
playin wif my buddies..
miss them like shit la..
hahaa..
simin bought tix to good charlotte concert..goin w/o me..
damn it
newae can't go wat..so chill la..
wen home wif my apple n cheesecake..
fallin in lurve wif both of them..
hehehee..
newae buddies all want a rose too..
i will buy u guys roses wen i'm loaded k..
mus start savin alrdy..
mayb by next month cos i'm saving up to buy presents for my cheesecake n queen of beauty..
i roughly noe wat to get for my cheesecake but my queen of beauty..it's kinda hard..
cos i'm runnin out of idea..
i cant give her another g-string like last year rite..
ticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktock(the clock is running..haha)
ok i noe(my lightbulb!)
hehehee..
something that is priceless..
i hope it touches her hart..
been missin her badly..
feel like cryin everytime i miss her now
*sob*sob*
alrite, rite now(dis freakin sec im bloggin) im kinda mad wif my cheesecake..
damnit.
i hate dis freakin feelin..
but its a pissing thing get it?!
arggghhhh..
hope i chill soon..seriously
cos i hate it to see her sad..

it's been awhile

hmm..
kinda bz..so not been bloggin much..
but hey here i am once again..
chicky, chicky..
ohwell..
todae nothin much..jus wen to study..
guess where??????
at nyp..hahahahaha
met nazis n was plannin to meet my hammy bel but need to rush so din make it la..
hahahaha..actually me hv nothin to blog todae..
mayb i will blog my poetries..
hahaha
...
n i wanna thank my cheesecake for the poetry she JUS wrote for me..cho cwit..
thanks ya..

the reasons

i live with no reason..
cos miracles never happen
i breathe searching for love...
cos love have start to hate me
i walk looking for my soul..
cos i cant find my way home
i witness Gawd's creation...
cos i wanna appeciate Him
i write wanting to feel...
cos i have lost mine
i weep when darkness win..
cos i'm afraid to die
i smile to see you happy...
cos i dun wanna u to get hurt
i laugh so people feel no guilty..
cos i can't bear to see u cry
i sleep to find peace...
cos that's wen i dream
i die to make myself free..
cos that's wen i find me

just another day..

been sufferin from tummy sickness..
damn it..
i actually dunno wat to blog today..
seriously i feel mood out..
i dunno la..
i wanna go up there again..
wanna feel everythin..
the danger and stuff..
i'm sick in the head
haha..
really sick
how i wish i'm a better person..
a better daughter..
a better fren..
a better me..

how wonderful the world is..

ok..the greatest part of da day dat happen to me is in da mornin..!
i jus cld believe wat i see wen i was at da 27th storey open "balcony"..
i dunno how to thank gawd for makin world such a beautiful plc to live..
ohman..
i took pics of it but i hv some probs d/l it in my com..mayb next time ya..
i promise..
n i definitely need to thank siwei for that..thanks bro!
then wen to meet my cutey simin..
she did somethin to her hair..Gawd Damn It..
hahahaha..
wen to watch alot like love..
i think it's an ok movie la..
no regret watchin it..
we then wen ard suntec..
suddenly simin realise that she lost her tortoise..
we turn back twice to search for it..
haiz..
then we end up readin comics n mags..
i left her with her buddy cos she wanna go for interview..
b4 i reach homey..wen to clinic..
the plc was full of dead beessss..
wonder wat telah happen?
hmm..anyway..
wrote a poem after bein inspire by the beauty of the world..
gonna post it soon ya..
n..
im missin my cheesecake....
n queenies..

sexy frens i hv xcept me..look like retard

sexy frens i hv..from left- florry, cheesecake, me(wat a retard!) n of cost yanyan..

boredom!

ok..i dun why but i gues boredom fell in love wif me!
since last nite..i hv been conquered by boredom..
but thanks to sueann i kill my boredom for a while..
hahaha
we were playin wheel of fortune wen that lil yan yan send me VIRUS!!
argghhh
im gonna get u yan yan..
then i guess boredom miss me so he strike me again..
din do much stuff cos i was too bz 'playin' with boredom...
scan my com n get rid of that virus..

i woke at 9!
shit..
was freakin sleepy cos i slept at 3..
hope today me cleanin my room will help me forget bout boredom..
but in the mean time..
i'm bored!!
i think im goona start cleanin up soon..
shit..
i wanna get inspired..
i wanna go to the top..
i wanna feel everythin bein at the top..
cant wait for this tues..
hopefully i can manage to go the top this tues..
prayin..
crossin my fingers..
n to my cheesecake..
i'm here for u..
muacks to all..
n 2 my queens..
i wish u guys r doin fine in life..
miss those days..