one whole day

i took the whole day just to type a short email to someone.
to find the right words, right phrase, etc. all this is to ensure what i wanna say, will not be misunderstood.

im not sure if im feelin much better after completing the email jus tht .... i dunnnoe how to explain it.

thats show why i got to take the whole day typing a short email.
im bad with words.
really.

and i have yet send. i dunnoe wat is stopping me.
oh fuck.

~

was listening to katy eggleton always never ever.
gawd, she rawk my socks.
ok... mayb not, but hey there is room for improvement.
the song is just not right. the tune is out.
but quite without you is cool.
anothe tuesday is also cool.
the rest is good.
well as i say, there is rooms for improvement gal.

~

shurts have retarded fingers.
hehehee..




chiao

with just one star

its a quite night tonite......
online, i engage myself talkin to my angel only.
no one else.
only late nite then i talk to simin.

went i look out the window, at the sky,
i saw a star.
just one star.
twinkling.

it amaze me how we stand on our own feet but keep falling down.
it surprise me on how we misses tht someone but have no courage to tell them.
it scares me to be in this mess n cant get out of it.
it freaks me out to know tht another day have pass without talkin to you.
it makes me wonder if i can continue being like this.

ohwell, i cant crawl back to you can i?
cos ure happy now.
n i wont be able to destroy it.

~

last nite, i watch the tammy porn video.
i was grossed out.
anyway, its boring.

it didnt even turn me on.
unlike paris hilton video.
it turns everyone on!!!
hahahahaa...


both of them lack of experience i suppose (not tht i have any) but well, its just tht..u got to see it for urself. even simin say its boring.

well, judge it urself la k..


I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

chiao.

its a killer

wat am i suppose to blog todae?
about how depressing i feel?
just like wat ive been doin for one whole fucking month?
gawd, im sick of mournin over it.

but isnt tht wat make me weep every nite?
bein a fool in the broad day light?

i cant fool myself any further.
not anymore...

a few close frens of me too feelin some kind of down lately too.
are we suppose to form a club or wat?

the state tht we are livin now...
never in my entire life bein like this before.

who make me cranky?!

i wont wanna tell who make me cranky todae.
my old lady n my oh-so-beloved kuzin.
how they rawk my world todae.

todae woke up with the mood of doin NOTHING at all.
i mean N.O.T.H.I.N.G at all.
but i hv no choice but to do all stuff..
tht leads to insincerity.
tht hv lead to unhappiness.
leading to me bein cranky.

kuzin came.
the long waited advises came out of the mouth.
screwing up my mood.
diggin to my beloved msn.
im lovin it.
thanks.

sis came to the rescue.
went to play house of dead 4.
till chpt 5-reunion.
there goes my last twenty bucks.
but awesome game.

~

i hope all this can be seen in a different light.
in a different point of view.

everythin happens for a reason and because of a reason.

see wat love have done, shurts....

it cant be describe.
not at all..

=)
when is the last time i see the smile???


chiao

grad meetin with a twist

todae was my grad meetin.
met the hoogaz. miss them.
my cheesecake too. can't realli remember the last time i saw my dear cheesecake. monthssss....
was glad to see her. realli.

grad meetin was pretty short. nothin much.
n we get a week extension for our gp submission. a big yippe.

oh ya, crash to EMILY in skol.
tht babe...scream my name n make me jump.
newae, im glad to see my sec skol beeches. kiddin kidding..

talkin bout sec skol, me n lina were talkin on msn bout the memories livin as sec skol students at nine in the morn.
awesome shit.
keep me awake in the earl morn..

~

if only you know how much i miss you..


chiao

just any other day?

well, hv not been slpin well this few days..
nightmares haunting me.
no. actually no nightmares la
mayb i slack too much or been doin toooooo many housework and it make me a zombie.

todae starts off with ME goin to the WET market..
its not tht i dun like goin to market but when its wet market..

gawd, the smell of the rotten eggs, unbathed stinky humans, bloody raw meats, polluted pesticides veggies, freezing bloated fish and the wetness just turn me off.

ewww...
sick.

and then went to pick my lil evil up.
the weather is such a killer.
im definitely melting away.
just hope tht todae will b bless with a few drops of rain.
i wonder which moron who wont like the rain...
oh no.. i dun have to wonder..
i alrdy know..

~

how silly of me to just know two nites ago tht frans and joe get to singapore idol..
i am soooooo outdated.

and emily, welcome to mdis.

chiao

look whos uncovered..

it amaze me how we can strip for some gucci brand and get some good cash. just to go nakeed.
lucky some ppl are.

hacker

some one hacked my msn yest morn.
make a hell mess.
change my settings n stuff like tht.
n not only tht, change my password too.
if u think its some kind of a joke/prank, haha its very FUNNY.

it took me few hours to "crack" the password.


i realise tht i hve not much time for my grad proj.
i got about three weeks to complete it.
alot have to be done here man.
got to start it asap.
mayb todae?
if the surroundings is peaceful enough.
if my mind is not complicated as it is now.

been listening to the song far away by nickleback.
a song tht remind me of some stuff...
ohwell.

ps- to those "i" IM yest morn, it wasnt me. im sorry if "i" sound ..err.... weird.

chiao

At Times, Love Dont Have Its Logic.

I Wonder Why...

im pretty bored.
old lady not in the right mood todae.
menopause i guess..

was hoping tht i can go out for some fishing trip but no..


- fishing is a relaxing "sport" where u can ease ur mind with the taste of the sea and the smell of the sky.
pretty awesome.
especially when you are in some so called dilemma.

suddenly i remember the first time you sing. for me.


chiao.

leaving

sandy is leaving tmr to phuket.
ernie is leaving on sun to aust.
who else is leaving?
you.

they come back, but will u?

this is wat i want, n this is wat u give.
wat more can i ask?
do i have anythin to say?
not at all.

i arldy state, there is nothin i wanna say to u.
cos i just wanna sit n stare at u..

sometimes, at one point decision u got to make.
whether its a wrong one or not.

i am to blame myself.
since when i blame u?
wasnt me the selfish one?

i was only thinkin bout me...
yeah, me..

~

went to do da scanning..
it hurts like hell...
bad news or gd news, i dunnoe.
gotta wait

right now, i just got to bare with it.

physically.
mentally.
emotionally.
psychologically.

chiao

I looked away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you cant undo
If I had my way
I would never get over you

I dont wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I dont want to talk about it
And I dont want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I dont want to talk about it
Cuz Im in Love with you

the master of sabo was being sabo-ed last nite.
not once. but twice.
i have to bath eight times to get the eggs, flour and some kind of spice stuff out of my body n hair....
thanks to my queens, bel, naz, muh n my whole bunch of kuzins..
now my back is aching
but i know its worth it
just tht, i need someone to massage my back..
=(

next time anyone wanna sabo me..
PLS PLS PLS PLSSSSssssss.. tell me in advance..
n let it happen in my bathroom.

letting go is tough..
the toughest when tht person is someone we truly love.
but life have to move on
with or without tht person..

shurts, we all are here.
for u.

its..my 18th bdae

woke up to the sound of my tummy.
i need the toilet emergency-ly
the i got to wake my nephew's up to skol.
tht lil devil doesnt want to. wats new.

just got back form sending him to skol.
he teared.
i hate it when he teared...wanting me.
i feel like a errr...mother..
well, i have no choice but to leave him to the hand of his teacher.
will b picking him up later..

so here i am bloggin...in the earl morn of 1st feb.
my bdae.
my 18th bdae.
its amazing how time flies.

i can see my wrinkles already..
=(

ohwell, have a few calls n msgs last nite to wish me..
thanks deariesss...

n yeah, last nite shruts, bel n muh came to my plc to chill.
it was pure fun.
esp when we got to watch this *ehem porn movie in ... msn.
then muh came with the idea of recording it soo.......yup
fahm, tell me u enjoy watching it!
to be honest, i think its pretty gross.
seriously dude.
i hope i dun have to see tht again.

i hope...
i hope..
i hope i have a great day todae.
wont wanna ask for more.

=)

shruts, i dun wanna see u cry.
not in this life of mine..

chiao