one fine day

alrite we have our hmc mock exam todaee but i think more than hlaf of the class didnt turn up. wahahahhaa..i stuck my ass at my cupcake plc. watch the L word for da first time n i gotta say, SHANEs is a HOT CHICK. yea...


nothin realli happen todae in skol. this poem i wrote it wen i was on my way to skol in the bus listenin to my cakes snoring infront of me. its so....musical. wahahahahahahahahahahaa...

hold my hand
probably for the last time
we talk and coffee
about the memories we use to be


hug me tight
and we forget about the fight
wipe the tears
we wont feel the fear


smile like theres not tomorrow
cos if we dont there will be hollow
in the history of our classic
like a tone without music

sorry n thank

Today, my cheesecakes perfume is magnificently SWEEET. Jus like her. Yeah. Cupcake didnt come to skol todae. Caught up with tooth cancer. the dentist tell us its gum cancer. Well ok. its actually gum infection.


Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide
They’re swept away and nothing is what is seems
i sense the feeling of belonging to your dream


The time we argue and fight,
I know deep inside that it isn't right.
I feel bad and alot of pain.
It feels like I've fallen from the sky like the rain.
I need to say I'm sorry
And thank you too, somehow
For sticking at my side
And still being there now
I'm sorry that I've hurt you
Thank you for being there
I'm sorry for the pain I caused
Thank you for showing me you care

an announcement

ohwell one new announcement- i lost my fucking cash YET AGAIN. FUCK..!

this shld realli teach me a lesson to b MORE careful n yada yada yada..(the list goes on..)

~~

ok i wanna talk serious stuff here. n i mean. serious stuff. not that me losin cash is not serious enough but hey, its money. remember?

- this few weeks that i've gone through teach me alot of stuff. esp bout myself. yea. myself. n friendships.


cos once again, i take things for granted. i only realise how impt they are to me wen they are about to leave me in a blisterin cold. thank gawd, i realise it sooner. if not...i wont noe wat will happen to me. i now realise that i shld appreaciate every gawd's gift. eventhough i dun hv the stuff dat others hv, i shld then learn to accept the things dat i have. my buddies(or wat my cheesecake love to say "soulmates"). queens, cakes, gay partner, squirrel(sandy), naz, badz n stuff(oppsss..sorry) n the rest(u know who u are).


bout myself. i shld learn n will have to no matter for wat fuckin sake, to chge my sensitiveness to a moderate lvl. yea. cos i think its in the highest lvl. n its killin me. it makes me so not me. queens, i was never NEVER this sensitive before. now i am. yea. shruts, u noe wat i mean..so i think i seriously need some courses or talks bout sensitiveness management. hehehe..

smile*

well todae lina, mei zhen, sandy, me n supposingly my gay partner too. she told us that her jersey is still wet la. damnation. n well ya, the jersey is super hot la. i mean, its not dry-fit at all n its like the hot air trap inside the jersey la. haiya...

anyway went to town for like how many months not steppin there. went there with my cakes. hehehe...at last. AT LAST! yea..we went to far east to look for some vintage necklace for cheesecake. well the one that she bought is beautiful necklace la. its beautifool beauttiful babe. n my cupcake too bought for herself a necklace. guess wat? its mickey mouse wat else. wahahahahahaa.. but its so her la. well, i do like mickey myself. for gawd sake i still hv that mickey toy wen i was a cute toodler (now cuter la..hehehee). i jus cant bare to throw it or give it to someone else. wahahahhaha. there is still a kid in me ok. well ya, almost forgot. i lost my ten bucks AGAIN. like wat the *toot man. i seriously need to pack my room so i can find back my wallet n play safe. (wat is that suppose to mean?) ohwell april bought this jumper. its ..so her. wahahahahaha.. at first i dun realli find it nice la but then wen she put it on, its cool. cant wait to see her wear it to skol yippie.

n at skol todae we watch sepet. its a realli grt movie. no one shld miss it man. seriously. when my kuzin sis told me boutt dat movie, i was so not interested until i watch it myself la..n ya, it deserve to win that award.

life is back. to normal.
n im gonna smile myself to slp tonite.
=)

wat a day man

seriously have no freakin mood to go to skol todae. but yea, i went. the last day of hmc presentation, had some commotion goin on. hehehe...poor shasha. but hey b strong gal! anyway i wanna thank her for ..well its our lil secret. but i jus wanna thank her.

well ernie left. to perth. dude, wen are u comin back? hehehee..

ohwell, todae is like the first day that i came back home at twelve. no mood to hang out.sorry simin.

well, the funny part of todae is that i was almost hit by this black merc la. hahahahaa..dat seriously freak me out man. i was hummin "helena" by my chemical romance n then this damn car came. screeech followed by the honks. hahahaha... i was damn scared i think i can wee wee rite at that freakin spot. hahahahaa.. ok im not suppose to laugh at my fuckin self but i jus find it amuzin how dreamy i was. realli. i cant believe it la. cant imagine if the car didnt stop in time. damnation in hell man.

its rainin n i wonder ..... ... .. .

i hate you 2

i've jus deleted a whole crap of fucking shit. feel a lil regret but i dun wanna fucking waste my time typin it all over again. so yea, thats for todae.

i hate you

this is for YOU. yes YOU. im sick of all this shit. seriously sick. for one thing for sure, i dun think u even give a fucking damn shit about it.u dun fucking noe that im worrried sick bout it. well im not blamin u cos now to think bout it, i think its my fuckin fault. yea. its mine. its my fault to call u my frens. its my fucking fault to think that u ARE my frens. our fucking worlds dun meet for sure. but i thot we can work things out. but im fucking wrong. yea, my fault. shldnt b thinkin too much. rite now, i dun wish to talk to u. nor i wish to b with u. u shld b happy in ur own fuckin world. where u can talk n go wild talkin bout all kind of fucking shit that u can't wen u are with me. i dun wanna forsake my dignity n my pride to hv back our fucking frenship. u think i fucking need time n space? well guess wat. i dun need any fucking time. FUCKER. i dun need any space! my temper is flarin now i will soon blow them off. i hope u rot in hell. no fuck,i dun wanna sound bad cos im bad enough. n till now, u fucking shit still hv no fucking idea that im talkin bout u rite? haissss...dun worry. i wont say out ur fucking names here. im not somekind of fucking bitches who purposely put down names so that the whole fucking world noe who they referrin to. if u ask me if i wanna continue with the frenship that i hv with u? well the ans is a simple yes. im not a fucking shit like u who dump frenships in the drain. i believe that we are born with frenships.so yea, mayb the fucking time will heal my fucking wound. n stop that fucking crap of urs sayin that i'm the one of the few who make ur day. im fucking sick of ur fucking lies. seriously. ohwell watever it is, its my fucking fault rite? damn, i cant believe the shit i got myself into. fuck.

one fucking thing for sure, somethin happen for a fucking reason and because of a fucking reason.

a sick poem

A broken trust severed us
An ocean of secrets that i've left behind
Unlocked by false assumptions
I'm stupid and dumb in the brain
And I shouldn't have pushed you away

I wish I could turn back time
I'm biting my tongue with my foot in mouth
I'm kicking myself in the ass with my hand

at the very last!

i've painted my room. at last! and wats the colour? u guess- its hot pink. yup. hot pink. so u pretty much noe that im kinda tired with all the paintin n shiftin my whole room. nothin much to blog bout actually. just wanna tell the whole world im in a new world. but the strange thing is that, i'm not smilin. somethin must b wrong? well i think evrything is wrong. esp me. mayb its my pms. i cant find anythin else to blame except my pms. sigh. screw pms.


i've learn the hard way. i've learn the easy way. but one thing for sure, easy or hard theres something that evolves ard it. Love & Death. try conquerin both, n u can see the wonderful of all the things ard. for me, i've not conquer any of this two, that is why i dun see the wonder of the rest. how bout u?

today is a saturday

slpt at bout three last nite after watchin an hindi movie. i cant remember the last time i watch an hindi movie. well woke up at 11 and only had my bfast at 12.30.

didnt reali hv a conversation with my old lad. i tried but it end up in an argument. i hate that. well, i didnt paint my room as plan. i spent my day readin fatal seduction. then bro ask me to help me returned the vcd he rented. yes, my bro is back from taiwan. kinda glad that he's back. miss him. he was gettin ready to go for the chalet. wont b back till tmr morn, i bet.


i was not in the mood to toy ard bpp. str home. on the way home, i saw this grp of kids at the roof. i was not surprised but was worried bout how bold n darin the kids nowadays. i wonder wat happen to kids nowadays. then at the playgrd, toodlers(age 7-9) are more worryin. they are tryin to do breakdancin. oh my gawwd. when i was at their age, i dont even noe wat is breakdancin. i ignore them n continue with my 'lil adventure. waslk the same road jus like the day before. one thing that is diff. i dunnoe why, but the smell of the road is so diff. my smellin sense taste the lavender. i wonder.


reach home, it was empty. i like the feelin. only me n the house. no naggin, no shoutin, jus peace. im enjoyin myself. i hope i can smell the lavender once again in the house but its fill with the smell of tobacco.

chattin with my queen of maniac now. shes back from her holiday at thai. miss her.
this few days, i've been doin alot of thinkin..think abt alot of stuff. and i realised somethin.
i'm a selfish bitch.

a beautiful- not day..hahahaha

i woke up at 7.30am. one hour late. a beautiful start off for todae. went to da lrt station and i was breathless eventhough the station is less than 50 steps. thanks to my heels. the last time i had my heels on was Hari Raya. when i reached cck mrt station, i realised that i didnt hv my speech with me. a serious damnation. in the train, i had to balance myself without any support so i wont embarrased myself n fell cos of my heels. haiss...then when i finally reached the first person to see me in NITIN. oh my gawwd. he was pointin at me la. then i saw a familiar shadow. its badz. hehehehee..with the gang. n my sandy. hehehehee. and jus in the right of time, the shuttle bus came. yippie.


my presentation suck. but watever it is, i wanna thank my klassmates for bein suppotive twrds me. thanks gays! hehehehe..skol was a mix of ok n not ok. i dunnoe. some politics issue happenin that i think we shld b hvin esp when we are all matured n stuff. but i guess, im wrong. we hv not matured enough. to ernie, i want u to b strong.

after skol is like, a mini hiking for me n simin. hahaha.. we diamonds like shit in the hot sun walkin from one end to another. hahahahahaa..we met J&C. simin irritates me all way long abt on C. haisss.. i dun have a crush on him la..i jus find him cute. CUTE. thats all. n he say My dressing is hot. not ME. so, u n J shld stop plannin to give us some private time together ya?


simin went to have lunch. we talk bout quite a few stuff la. hmm, that makes me think bout it till i felt aslp at the sofa after fetchin my nephew from skol.

busy or lazy. bothered or dun give a damn. i still dun noe the reason why things happen ard. the reason for the gap, the reason im pms-ing oftenly n the reason for me to spend more time with gays, this few things..i cant find the ans. well but one thing for sure, i cant b selfish. i cant think abt myself. i just got to let it go. it will feel good. for me n you.

hope it end soon. (i'm talkin bout the klass politic.)
and yes, i wore a black skirt todae.

once upon a day

todae first day at skol at queenstown was dusty n noisy. but the classroom is hugee..well not realli huge la but one thing for sure its bigger than my room. wahahahaha... learn afew things bout some ppl. shurts remember the day u cough out the tiny winy fly..hahahahaha...just got reminded of it. n i met with nani (my late grandmum younger sis). its not that i dun like her or her family but i dun think i can EVER get along with them. worse of all, she want me to go her house after skol like as often as possible?! whats her freakin prob? haiss...i just managed to smiled to her.


my gay pArtner was kinda sick todae. oh man....now, im talkin to both my cakes n nic. hmm...goody


i change my blogskin cos i chat with shruts n she insist me on changin it. ok ok..now i've change u dun b sarcastic to me anymore k.

i think some ppl are itchin for a slap from me. to think about it.... hais...
wont wanna talk much todae. kinda tired.

oh man..

woke up with the sound of of my hp. "1 received message". it was from =) hehehehee..cheesecake. newae was suppose NOT to get out of the house but i did. need to get fresh air. then it rain. get caught la. haisss..my chest still hurts. damnation.


good news to the chickens out there, i thrown away one box of it. =) cant eat much la,cos i think it cause my sickness.


roger n out. wanna clean my palace.

how i wish i smile to u just now

i dunnoe why but it seems dat theres a communication breakdown btw me n cakes. esp cheesecake. haisss...wats up with the world? no. its me. theres something wrong with me. and i cant figure out why. i cant. n i dunnoe why. arghhh..its killing me. met mr. subair at bugis. i still remember da day he step into our klass. everyone think hes hot. n he gives out CHOCOLATE. =)


my chest hurt. like it hurt when ate two box of it in three days. haiss..im dying. n i think im enjoyin it. but wat make me think twice is how bt the ppl who care bout me? well if theres any la..argghhhh...i'm trying my best to stop this bad eating disorder.

a week of not bloggin

a week of me not bloggin. damn, alot of stuff have happened to me. and i mean alot. i wont wanna talk bout it much but watever it is, i wanna thank one beautiful lady in my life. my sis. thanks for bein my sis. (will talk more bout u.)


i've been freaking tired ever since i'm back from indo. didnt rest well n better still when cycling with my gay partner for TWO days. had a grt time but damn tired. n its a no joke about it, ya. im kinda relief todae cos one disaster is over. well im talkin bout my hmc project. but i still hv my presentation to go with n other projects. haisss..


i hv alot to blog seriously bout this the stuff that happen to me n my surroundin but i cant. cos i hv put my self in deep shit. n im tired. soon geeks!