luck me

hmm met with my queens. hell lots of fun. took pics here n there. here n there. "tell me why u goin?" "tell us why u goin?" "tell...!!". the qns dat ring me after we sit down at a spot cos shruts was tired. i cant ans da qns. haiss...sorry queens. one day u guys will noe.


simin n i hd a hell grt of fun. fallin in love with my gay partner. seriously. we played this game for bout one hr i guess..then before we leave, i decide to try my luck on da doll that we try gettin for cupcake dat day. i took one dollar coin from my pocket. before slottin the coin in, i say my pray. the cat standin str was yellin at me "pick me!" "pick me!"
i say my lasy prayer before i press da yellow button. it get hold of the head. it goes up. with the head. "oh my gawd" "oh my gawwd" "oh my gawwwd..." the backgrd musici me n simin were playin. then it drop. "oh my gawd" "oh my gawwd" "oh my gawwdd" "oh my gawwdd" both of us jump with joyous "ohmygawds"..i just cant believe it! we won dat cat! yea...

back at skol.
damnation.
promise me ya simin?
ohwell its jus a shhh.....gals talk stuff =)

rite now.
jus heard da news bout the typhoon in taiwan. another damnation. my bro is IN TAIWAN. i believe he n da other young men serving their NS is gonna b just fine. My BRO will Be fine.

a day

another day pass. with a thorn paper heart of mine. nurul witness the shldnt-be-seen-footage after cakes left at cityhall station. cant control it. she confiscate my hp earl morn. damnation. well gonna meet my queens tmr. =)


nothing much to blog cos someone pissed me off. damnation. nice timing ya? haiss..

my heart is in your pocket...

woke up in da morn. n i wish that i had not open my eyes cos i cant reclose it again. to b honest, i dun feel like goin to skol. i mean wats the point, rite? but because of cheesecake, cupcake n simin, i get my arse out of da bed.. im pretty broke todae cos i had spent quite some cash yest...puffin my life away from damnation. well todae in klass me n simin left during break time. cant stand anymore benitas crap. realli. we had lunch at thaiexpress esplanade. then met with ernie n cupcake at kbow suntec. had a hell of great fun there. but two things was makin everthin incomplete. first is the emptiness tht we all feel cos cheesecake wasnt there. the second thing was the mood. yes we crap alot, we laugh but the mood..its killin me. after that wen to play some games at da arcade. almost got cupcake that soft toy but DAMN that machine la, we didnt get it. we took...no...THEY took alot of my pics...then i was practicing my "mice love rice" song when cupcake decided to record it. before i could even do it..she was in tears..in tears...n i had a feelin at that very moment, my cheesecake is cryin too...n when i ask my gay partner, simin, she say she will cry too when im gonna ....do u noe how that make me feel?? how am i suppose to look at the positive side of it? can i EVER bring myself to live my life when my heart is in the heart of my frens? will i be able to forgive myself for leavin you? who gonna call me names n who am i suppose to say "oh my gawwd" n "realli?" with?


i read simins blog, cupcakes blog n cheesecakes too. now, my room is flooded. cheesecakes testi drown me. i wanna delete my blog n my frenster soon. but somethin inside me is stoppin me. life will never be the same again. in my seventeen years of living in this materialistic singapore, i learn bout stuff that my parents cant teach me. frenship. it brighten up my life. my life. but now...i can just bury it at the bottom of my heart. my paper heart.

i was thinkin..

i was watchin my fav anime last nite. shaman king. from one episode to another, one thing that make me fall in love with this anime is- how they potray the frenships that they realise they are born with. yes, their main goal is to be the the one and only shaman king but behind it all, this anime realli emphasis on how impt frens are. they are willin to sacrifice their life for savin their frens. willin to sacrifice their power to save one fren. then at the end of all, one become strong thanks to the frens..


you switch off the light in my life
and now its in complete illuminated dark
thinkin im a candle
you want me to be my own light
even when u know it kills my heart
u hate me
u discriminate me
is it not enough
when u try kill me when i was young
when i was bout to have my lunch
i just thought it was another hullacilation
but i need to face things right
im moving to the end of my rainbow light
i wish i could say things out loud
and make me fly next to the clouds
to the folks who stand by my side
let me light up ur path tonight
atleast when im burnin
im doin something worth while

jus a'lil day

i was disappointed wen i step in my klass todae as the seats dat are suppose to be occupied by cakes are empty. hais...they not comin. ohwell, will msg cupcake later i talk to myself.


a few mins later, a cute face appeared at the glass door. its cupcake. with her new hairstyle. she look pretty hot. honestly.


ohwell after skol, wen to taka again. me n simin were drivin cupcake crazy with our "realllii?" and "oh my Gawwddd..!" but we end it at city hall station as simin have to meet her wendy. miss her witch+wolf laughter. hahahahahaa.. before that, we meet this cute adam brody jr. at da train. hes three and a half year old. hes name-ronan. weee......


finish "can you keep a secret". well it may not be the first bimbotic bitchy book i read, but it has make me think about what the story is all about. secrets. well, for sure thing, i DO have a lot of secrets. secrets dat im not sure if i will share it with anyone just yet. its too.... personal i guess. it will definitely change the way ppl treat me if they noe wats my secrets. hais..


before reachin home, i went to 12th. its been quite a while i didnt go up there. oh my....oh my..
now just reach home, im missin u guys. seriously. my queens, my cakes, my gay partner, my frens..yes. my frens. i miss u guys seriously. wonder how i live my life without u guys.

tomyam craze

klass todae. how am i suppose to describe todae's lesson..hmm? nothing? its a day when u jus do ur own stuff n da lecturer was talkin all da craps dat happen to her other klasses. hais..


when to taka with my cupcake n my gay partner. opss, i mean simin. wahahahaha...
we were suppose to help simin search for her mum's bdae present. so we wen to hunt for it..
i dunno but i have a strong feelin dat simin is da one who is fussy n not her mum. cos shes been rejecting every other things that we say that suit a mum.. hahahahaabut at last she bought one beautiful earrings. its so motherl la. n im now been influence by dat idiotic gay partner of mine, opss i mean simin..hahahahaha to laugh like a retard! wtf!


on the way back home, i received a call. its from my angel! yippe.. i wen down to queenstown to look at the unicampus that we are suppose to move in soon but wen i look at the buildin.wat the hell?? its still incomplete la. still under constructing..!! i cant wait to move in to our new campus cos its nearer. one straight bus laaa....cos im gettin tired of travelin from one end to another.. haiss...


ohwell then i wen to do some grocery shoppin wen i suddenly feel that i should cook tomyam! n guess wat? its freakin delicious la..yea. not bad for a first time tomyam cook huh? =)

sis

i detest and hate the shit from hell when someone spoilt my mood in da break of dawn. it will just tear me apart. seriously. its da most fragile hours of my life. i teared easily in the morn'. well but thank gawd i feel better when i think of meetin up with my cakes. lifes great. skol was ok ok. nothing much la but then we wen to da lib. had luch at kfc. its been quite a long time i hv not tasted kfc chicken. n of cost cheesecake didnt dare touch anything.


to b honestly, we didnt realli do anythin much in da lib except cupcake who wen there to start her hmc project. cheesecake help me with my conclusion for my paris hilton. =)


was talkin to my sis bout quite alot of stuff todae. hmm..da sudden mood make me now in a very mix feelins. i wonder..

a gun can kill
fire can burn
but smile of yours
can make my frozen heart
melts...

why? why? why?

i dun understand. n i dun think i will ever understand. my life i wasted wondering why and how i can make things right. for the ppl who i care. for the ppl who i love. for the ppl who i cherish. and for me.

ohwell..
i dun wanna waste jus another entry talkin bout the dark side of my freakin life that i know will bore ppl.


so well, miss my queens.
da days we spent in sec skol..
no one was like us..
wen to da field to pluck da mangoes n rambutans..
sneak to da back of da canteen to make music..
bein hooligans wen we walk back home..
bein the centre-of-attraction everwhere we go..
makin mcd our second home..
sabo each other no matter wat day or time is it..
me n khai cat fightin n everyone cheerin..
i can never find another of u guys no matter wat.
seriously.
even if we have our misunderstandin and stuff
no one can change the fact that u guys ARE my queens
man..how much i treasure u guys
to gawd i pray that this will b never endin..
our frenship.
it will be among da last things i wanna say goodbye.

because of u

I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break
The way you did
you fell so hard
I’ve learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you..I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you..I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you..I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you..I am afraid I lose my way
And it’s not too long before you point it out I cannot cry
Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can’t possibly break
When it wasn’t even whole to start with
You want me to watch you die
And heard you cry every night in your sleep
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you.. I am afraid
Because of you..I’m ashamed of my life because it’s empty

Hais.. frens

todae woke up smilin cos im gonna meet my cupcake before klass which begins at two. we discuss bout our projects n stuff. gonna meet her n probably ernie too tmr before klass begin.

at skol theres nothing much that happen with the exception of the "analysis" of the song -whats goin on? all-star tribute. =)
a lovely song that should be appreciated.


...
well for alot of u out there just wanna u to listen up to this words i wanna split out.
for me,
frenship are not something that we make or break
but something that we are born with
so if i wanna end it all, i KILL it with a swift


i treasure my frenships
cos i know its worth it
but if it is just for some shit
i will just give turn off the switch


well..
i know the meaning of suffer
i feel the word called suffer
thats why i care
when u stop breathing air
thats why i worried
when u wont wanna say it

ohwell forget wat i say
i shld have realise dat i shld be living in my own biosphere

jus a day pass

woke up late Again.. hais
didnt do much stuff todae.
my fever is down but not my migrane.
damnation.
shes not in a good mood
so didnt realli talk to her much.
read my book
stuck in my room
and gueess wat guys?
im grounded for life.
ok i noe its not somethin new
but she emphasis it last nite
wen i was bout to slp at bout 2
Hais..
lifes like dat
i dunnoe whether i shld hate her even more or just ....
well gotta travel to bp n wdlds more often.
and to adam im sorry i cant meet u tmr.
sorry ya.

welcome to my life

i woke up late todae. cldnt realli open my eyes thanks to da sickness called migrane. but i hv no choice but to drag myself to da bathroom. try to cheer up my own freakin day but jus cldnt win fightin with my bad mood.
ohwell let me ask u several questions before u move on with ur life. here it goes..

how does it feel when someone you expected least call u a prostitute?
what will you do when love reject you?
why do you make yourself believe that wealth is the one that make the world go round?
who will you die for?
when will you stop dreamin? stop fantasizing?
where will you be when i close my eyes?


we have been living with eyes half open..

my hades

didnt go to skol todae. accompany my cupcake to da doc. i hope shes smilin her days after todae after what da doc say. "99.99999999999999999...%" my fever is gettin worser n my head is takin a roller coaster ride. its killin me but with all that i didnt go back home to rest- i head to da library. borrowed three books. its been awhile i hv not been readin fiction book.
im now hook with this song "for you i die". a lovely song dat make me think bout the reason im breathin, the reason im livin, the reason im alive. once again guys, im losin grip. im feelin freakin helpless. i hv so much to say but im seriously in no mood and in no energy to type anymore. so i end it here. to my huneys, i love u guys.


im tryin to let u walk next to me..

spent my day...

woke up in da morn n realise dat marion raven cd is at my desk. =)
her strong vocal impress me. her music inspire me. i just hope that she can be da next Alanis Morissette. that will rawk ME. while listening to her songs, i felt so yesterday. being all da sixteen year old gal. draggin da morn to go to skol cos i have not completed my maths assign or eng homework. n i still da remember da first lesson for todae is newspaper article. we will take this opportunity to complete our homeworks n assignments with the help of our frens' masterpiece. hehehee.. life in sec skol.how could i live those days again.......


skol.
bored. was fallin aslp. after skol wen to national library with cupcake, gay partner n jess. chessecake wen back home cos of her cramp. hope she's ok now. so can see her tmr. after that me n cupcake had gelaro(if dats how u spell it). was okla. quench our thirst. hahahaa. head far east. at mrt station, guess who i met? Syahidah! from e3 la. same old her la. she realli caught me by surprise. at far east, saw orlinda! she's super slim. it suit her style la. i wen to see my bag. cupcake say it lookz cool on me. =)


rite now, im experiencing pms-ing. arghh.... but i cant put my head to stop thinkin bout wat cupcake told me. mayb im not ready for ...... mayb shes rite. mayb im not ready. cos for me, my studies n my frens r my priority. not the "r" word.

to die...love

To Die for Love
To Die of Love
To Die in Love
To Die with Love
To Die over Love
To Die without Love
To Die to Love
To Die in the mine
And then be a "Mine"
in the Arms of Someone
Chest wound,
"Here I will Die of the Above"

slut dats who u r

i dunno if i shld regret da 1/2 hr i spent to see you after skol. but atleast i thank gawd for not letting me skip my klass half way. Thank Gawd!
now, im just wonderin wat is ur real intention for doin dis shit. i dun get it. for real slut, IM NOT YOU. i dun fuck my own bro. i dun go fuckin guys from da net or from da chatline. IM NOT YOU. so stop all shit n start searchin for a real life. u seriously need one. n dun say u didnt mean wat u told me. its bullshit. u think i will jus treat it as one of ur mean jokes but hey, u were wrong. n u think i will just forgive u as crocodiles tears drop from ur cheeck. damnation. i wont fall for fake-state-depression of urs. u need work harder on ur acting skill.arghh..u da one person who make me sick now. seriously.get a life.

skol.
was ok. nothin much for skol except dat cheesecake is back. im glad she make it to skol todae. miss her like hell. n cupcake looks hot todae with her new purple mini skirt. n thereis somethin wrong with my gay partner todae(im talkin bout simin of cost). shes been crappin alot todae. hmm...i wonder

a day w/o..

today klass was way much better than yest's day klass. esp wen jailani was talkin bout da sexual norms. hehehehee..then me n simin had lunch with joe and the gang. weeee...had a gd time with them la. then me and simin headed to bugis met jess. and simin's fren. they went to buy movie tix at 3.10pm. we took da time goin to da library to do some research for the projects. i did some research la. simin n jess did their own research for their project. they left me all alone at da library at three. so left alone in da library i do my research in silence. wen back home shortly after that. at home theres nothin much to do. so i close my eyes for 1/2 hr. wen to take a bath, then switch on my lappie. nothin to say much todae...


missing my queens, chessecake n cupcake...
n guess wat..im dreamin bout dat bag..arghhh..
to think bout it

yippie

akon- mr lonely.
woke up in da middle of nite n i notice dat my cell wasnt by my side.
dude i was searching for it
i was cryin
then i saw it under my bed
wahahahaa..its lame la but dat wat happen to me wen i woke up at three in da morn. my cell was freakin me out wen it was not within my reach.


skol.
sucks. ok like wats new esp wen it come to benita fong class n da worse part is dat my cakes were not sittin next to me la todae. cheesecake was bz n cupcake was havin a headache. but her headache will disappear after klass cos after klass i wen to meet her at city hall mrt station. n we headed to cineleisure. No more headaches...watch a few movies before my lappie hibernate.


heeren.
visit heeren. nothin much la. was lookin ard i remember my dream bag. arghh..thinkin bout it make me close to tears la..hais. damn la.. then i saw a nice shockin hot pink shawl-that-can-turn-to-belt. its awesome la. cupcake bought da green one. she look extra hot in green la. dat evergreen apple april.wahahaha..
but i miss my cheesecake la. damnit. its alrdy like one week i din see her. Haiss. hope she take care of herself cos if she fall sick there's no one i can bully beside april who will laugh after bein bullied la...dat cute cupcake. well, hope next week is gonna be back to da future.

Home.
i have like fifteen movies to watch. gotta do some evaluation n stufff like dat for our project.


damnationess.

two days in a day

yest.
my plan to visit M'laysia was cancelled due to some backstage problems. wahahaha.. so wen to mt. faber for da first time after living in s'pore for seventeen yrs! hahaha..it's a quite a romantic plc in s'pore la. watch da fireworks from far then headed to tanjong pagar railstation to EAT! was freakin hungry la cos i din eat for da whole freakin day..


today.
wen to skol with my cupcake. class was alrite la. nothin much happen. then after skol wen to heeren with ernie cos she wanna buy some jackets. then met shruts n fahm! yippie headed to far east. then bel hammy come! double yippie..we wen to eat at es teler. but turns out dat da food was average laaa. but we hv grt fun. naz came shortly after that. triple yippie. we crap alot then we go ard to shop. shruts spent like 1/2 hrs in a shop la. damn gal. kuku came kinda late cos he said dat he was stuck in a traffic jam n regret not taking da train.hahaha poor guy. newae happy four yippie. hahahaa.then we wen in to this shop n i falled in love with it. yes its big la. ppl will give me weird expressions wen they see me with it. but its HOT.seriously HOT. n it suit the freaking me la! its da coolest Bag i ever seen in my whole freakin life! but i didnt buy it cos im short of cash.


sob.sob.


back home, i was kinda tired. cant afford to slp earl n miss my anime. so im tryin to stay strong. was kinda worried bout dat gay cheesecake of mine too. poor babe. hope she take realli good care of herself. i dun wanna see her sick la damnit. n i jus completed doin my own therapy. my back hurts, so do some exercise.

wat the ...

When I'm Trying to Understand Myself,
You Make Youself Difficult To be Understand

life's like that

last nite i almost died..laughin my head off. someone- a very close fren of me told my other fren dat I'M STUBBORN! to be honest i actually dont know how to react but then when i absorb the information for da second time, it become the joke of the YEAR..hahahahaahahahahaaahahahaa...i got the 'news' last nite but didnt manage to blog it on da spot. newae she will come out with other adjective beside names such as sexy, hot, cute, just to name a few laa..


ohwell last nite i only manage to go to the fantasy world at threee. not talkin to my angel as planned but talk to my closest kuzin. wat else we talk about other than GUYS. she's da one of the few who i can talk with bout guys, guys, guys... seriously. i wonder wat life is for me wen she get married next year. i wonder...


todae nothin special happen. woke up kinda late at 1030hrs. argghhhh...
how i wish i dun hv weekends n not face da reality dat he's not workin n she will be like one of the active volcano in da world. always erupting. i dun wanna talk much bout it but i jus wish i learn to live with it.

i'm tryin to sort out things that i can take seriously and the things dat i can jus let it go..i guess dat's how life shld be. for me. cos for me, i dun dream n make myself believe dat tmr is gonna b a better day for me. dats a total rubbish. however, it can bring some encouragement to some ppl laa excluding me cos i've seen and feel the pain of hopin for the better wen pain is the one who arrive at my doorstep first. ohwell wont wanna drag much bout it. i wanna b as strong as my angel. =)

thats is for now.
wanna play hide and seek with boredom.

walkin

i was suppose to take my pair of sneakers n go for a jog but end up takin my flippy flop n the guitar..head to shruts plc. hahahaa..before i continue with my story first i wanna thank my angel(shurts of cost) for makin me smile after da disaster last nite. thanks babe. well back to my story we then walk ard with guitars at our hand. then i decide to call edric down. shruts cursed me for that. wahahahahaha..n i seriously think thats he's CUTE. really.


ohwell im kinda tired now. but i wanna do somethin bitchy..hahahaa..ok dats is so NOT me laa..shit. wats happenin to me?!?!?!argghhh


wanna tell cheesecake, i miss her. cant remember da last time i hv a serious fun talk with her. wahahahaaaa. ok wats happenin to me now?! IM GETTING OUT OF HAND! maybe cos im bored n tired. maybe..

miss me n i'll b creepin under ur bed..
muacks

dark

People see you as Truly Dark. Congradulations. Your
are dark by nature and not just because it's
cool. Dark people are not always loners but
definatly not the center of attention either.
Many people are the dark are like the shadows
and can conform into any shape they need to be.
But the dark can't be hidden forever. It's
often only a matter of time untill you tire of
the charade and show your darkness. Thus how
those in the dark remian solitary. Being dark
does not always mean your gloomy, you are
probably just artistic. Whether is be in the
drawing, music,painting, or singing. If you can
find a friend who shares your twisted ideals or
is willing to brave the iceiness of your world,
hang on to them for how rare it is to find a
light in the dark.


What Do People Truly See You As? (lots of outcomes and stunning pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

broken

She sits in her corner
Singing herself to sleep
Wrapped in all of the promises
That no one seems to keep
She no longer cries to herself
No tears left to wash away
Just diaries of empty pages
Feelings gone astray
But she will sing...


Til everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
Til everything burns


Walking through life unnoticed
Knowing that no one cares
Too consumed in their masquerade
No one sees her there
And still she sings...

hmm....

todae i didnt expect to see my cheesecake at skol..i actually dunno wat i shld do..seriously. but then wen we went home, we talk la in da train but she was da one who talk da most..i cant even look at her for like wat 30secs..damnit..well i hope tmr is gonna b better..and ermm...someone got her first kiss! cant tell who la, jus check it out urself. and i wen to borders jus now suppose to buy Dave Pelzer- A Man Named Dave but i cldnt find it. damnit la. then somethin caught my eyes. decide to buy it. well not for me la. its gonna b weird rite..ohwell, nothing much to say already but i jus wanna again Apologise to cheesecake...


i'm sorry

dan

when tomorrow arrives
just like yesterday
when your laughter can be heard
then you will slowly forget me
the worse nightmare of your life
where i have pierce your heart
and i make you cry
with your silence tears


just forget me
if that make you shine like the stars
and stand at your own ground
slap me and detest me
if that can make you
shine like the stars
and make you stand strong
again


i'm sorry
but i didnt mean it
i don't intend it
but do you that
i wanna forget you
eventhough i need you

bizarre of a love triangle

every time i think of you
i get a shock right through into a bolt of blue
it's no problem of mine but it's a problem i find
living a life that i can't leave behind
there's no sense in telling me
the wisdom of a fool won't set you free
but that's the way that it goes
and it's what nobody knows
and every day my confusion grows


every time i see you falling
i get down on my knees and pray
i'm waiting for that final moment
you'll say the words that i can't say


i feel fine and i feel good
i feel like i never should
whenever i get this way,
i just don't know what to say
why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
i'm not sure what this could mean
i don't think you're what you seem
i do admit to myself
that if i hurt someone else
then I'LL never see just what we're meant to be