Sitting And Wondering If You Ever Know How Much Of You Is Part Of Me

i want my simple life back. my life when i'm only emo cos of what my mum says. what my mum thinks. what my mum did.
and i thought that my life was complicated back then. hah.

2007 is ending. and she have taught me the complication of life part 1.
friendships, heart break, jobless...
i have never been in such a mess before.
so messy that i can't do the right thing.

my four pink painted walls witness it all.
blood, tears, bottles, pills...
oh my god, it was a mess!

when is gonna be part 2? i don't know. i got to wait and see.
=)

and then i stumble upon this complicated song. the song that used to be my best friends when i'm taking the bus rides to and fro NCS.

i listen to the song. i listen to the lyrics. i listen to the feeling.
something so beautiful.
so beautiful it almost makes me cry.


a real complication that is a beauty.
it was the purest love ever. no shadows of lust. not at all.


they both know that it's wrong. but that thing makes both of them stay.
you don't wanna know what is gonna happen to them. (like will they get caught?)
you don't wanna know how their path crosses each other. (was it fate?)

you just wanna feel their love.
at that very moment.

~

when i remembered that F is not planning to get married, i stop breathing. i suddenly felt guilty. it's like i was part of the reason why that statement came out from his mouth. i don't care if the very next sec he found someone else. but just to think that i actually make someone said that it's like a big dirty X mark on white.

shit.


i want me back.
that very emo rock chick who rocks her own emo world.



but with a lil twist...

i want my mrs jones.