In The End

In the end.. i was left alone.

In the end.. Dani walked away without a key.

In the end.. we all wanna be happy.

and i'm actually kinda upset that dani wasnt given the key but hey i'm half-HAPPY that dani didn't win.

why i'm upset? cos i can totally feel her crushing. i mean why do we have to come to a stage where we give our all and you, knowing that you are not gonna make it work but clench on to it till the moment you said "i'm sorry" and break our hearts? i mean is there some kind of an achievement feelings doing it? hmm....
(if i can have a protest against heartbreakers)

why i'm happy? cos i probably got the chance on hitting dani and two timed shane! hahaha right.

tila wrote on her space saying, " This way we would never have to END things between us."
err...right. it's pretty obvious that you gonna choose the dude. cos in the end, "it's not about being with a guy or being with a girl. It's about ratings, publicity, and making the rounds on the late-night talk show circuit."

the reality of reality tv shows.

lucky for dani. it ended before it even started. and she's not in the losing end.

unlucky for me. it ended just when it got started. and i am truly in the losing end.

~

well enough of that. i'm here for a damn good reason. after weeks and weeks of thinking, i finally made up my mind.

so i wanna take this opportunity to tell myself (cos i know no one reads my blog) that i miss you.

i did my very best. to show you how important it is to me. to tell you it means more than anything in this world to me. but i guess i did it all wrong.

some say "people tends to remember you for that one wrong you made and not that 1000 rights you did."

and i will like to take this opportunity to tell myself yet again (cos who reads my blog, seriously) that i love you.

oh yes i do.

still holding on to something that i know it's hopeless. and yes if i could rewind the time, i'll re-write our story. i'll make you feel that whatever comes we gonna be a real warrior of love,whatever complication life can get we gonna be the sole survivor of love. but clearly, what i give was not strong enough.

and definitely i will take this opportunity to tell myself for the very last time (cos durh no one is reading my blog)that all this that happen is part of life.

i'm not letting anything go. nor am i giving up the things that i believe in. i just feel that i need a rest. i worried too much. i think too much. i cared too much.

i still see nothing.

break.

~

i'm gonna miss this.
2005 ever since. all the memories. gonna stay.
but i'm leaving.

you mean a lot to me. and i'm gonna keep fighting. even thou i feel that i'm just another pit stop for you.

with love,
pinkrocker